I feel like Im going to explode

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  • This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by JBLA.
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  • #57543 Report

    Chris12x
    Participant

    Im a full time single dad to my 16 month old baby. With 0 friend or family support

    My daughter struggling to sleep , i cant leave the room without her screaming , I have to spend 4 hours cuddling her to sleep.

     

    My head is busting. I dont know what to do just feels like there is so much pressure on everything

    #57545 Report

    JBLA
    Participant

    Hey dude,

    Your not alone, all kids can do this… Especially with the first it’s always super tough.

    Sorry to hear you don’t have much support, if it’s any consolation, I didn’t either, maybe a lot of people here can relate too. I think everyone gets to the stage of feeling like they’ll explode sometimes.

    At this age it could be anything from realising they’re a separate being, over or under stimulation, teething, gas…. Often it’s just working through the checklist of possibilities / soothing or management techniques.

    My two kids both had intermittent stages of crying if I was out of sight… I ended up just having them in a bouncer or walker & shoving it around to be wherever I was … Including to have a bath/shower/ etc… It was tough not having a poop in peace for months on end, but they do grow out of it!!

    Another method can be baby carriers/ wearing or trying various routines to get them super tired / sleepy…. Every kid is different & sometimes they grow so fast it can be ‘as soon as one method works, it’s outgrown & back to square one’. Some kids thrive on very set routines & some kids thrive with the opposite.

    Maybe old fashioned, but the cry it out method worked for a few generations & people survived … So if it comes to it, don’t feel bad if you have to just let them cry for a bit… As long as they are safe & secure.

    Feel free to message me & I’d be happy to talk through different methods or just be an understanding ear for the tough moments.

    Might feel like it, but the crying stages don’t last forever. Things will get better.

     

     

     

    #57569 Report

    Chlo
    Participant

    Hi came on here to talk about another subject however saw your subject title and felt had to  reach out.  My first was the exact same and I could not even put the baby in the Moses basket to sleep for a good 9 months.  It was a nightmare!  I tried to ‘cry it out’ method to which I would never do again and is torture for the poor baby, plus I’ve since qualified in courses that show this really isn’t the right way to go about it and only causes further anxiety for the baby down the line too.  There are these electronic baby chairs now that have motion movements, there’s also baby massage, a bed time routine is key even at tiny baby stage using bed time lavender wash (only every few days else dries their skin out) followed by a baby massage again using lavender lotion and make sure they have enough sleep/bottle in day.  Sometimes baby’s just like to be close to their daddy’s/mummy’s.  Buy a papoose and keep baby in it whoever you are, even washing the pots etc.  Good luck

    #57572 Report

    Sandra
    Moderator

    Hi Chris

     

    My name is Sandra and I am one of the moderators. I am so sorry to hear you are having such a tough time right now, I have sent you a private message so please look out for it. Parenting a little one isn’t easy, I hope you find some support

     

    best wishes

     

    Sandra

    #57596 Report

    Ladyl1989
    Participant

    Hi Chris, so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time it isn’t easy. There’s a page called iconcope it has advice on how to cope when your babies won’t stop crying. I used to sit with my son for hours until he fell asleep and one day when my partner left I couldn’t do it anymore as I also have a 9 month old so now as long as he’s fed, changed, safe I give him his milk and leave him in the room now he falls asleep himself and I actually get a break. As long as all their needs are met and they aren’t poorly it’s ok to leave the room. You need time for yourself too just plug the baby monitor in and go and do something around the house. If you get stressed your baby will pick up on it. Did the child’s mother leave?

    #57609 Report

    Louipat
    Participant

    Hi Chris,

    has your daughter always struggled to sleep or is this a new thing? I remember my daughter had the 18 month sleep regression with a vengeance!

    I remember getting all my jobs done and eating before putting her to bed so I wasn’t stressing about what I had to do whilst lying there trying to get her to settle.

    is she still under the Health visitor, maybe they could come up with a few tips xx

    #57616 Report

    JBLA
    Participant

    Hope things are getting easier!

    Not to start a debate… But half the stress can come from folk who, often with the best intention … Add more pressure by insisting they know best & idealist psycho-babble about how to raise our kids…

    It turns out much of the latest research finds letting a baby/ toddler cry isn’t actually that harmful, and it can do more harm to both child & parent by increasing parental burnout.

    For ref; https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/07/15/730339536/sleep-training-truths-what-science-can-and-cant-tell-us-about-crying-it-out

    Your not a bad parent if you get noise cancelling headphones or have to take a breather & let them cry for a moment.

    Hope that helps take the pressure off a bit

    Your probably doing better than you realise. This stage will pass xx

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