I don’t want to separate
20 March 2021 at 10:45 pm #51751
Last May my husband told me he wasn’t happy anymore and left to stay with his parents, since then we have been back and forward, he’s said he wants to work it out, we were spending some time together, then other things happened, his mental health, my father passed away but right up til this morning he still made it seem like he wanted to make it work then today he tells me he wants us to separate for good and doesn’t want to try marriage counselling or anything that we had talked about. I don’t know how I’m supposed to move on from it when i still want to be married to him and for us to work it out.20 March 2021 at 11:14 pm #51754
I feel for you. It’s hard when one party wants to work it out and the other doesn’t. What you have written has similarities to what I have experienced.
I’m two and a half years down the road and although it hasn’t been easy living as a single parent it has got easier.20 March 2021 at 11:30 pm #51757
I’ve done so much to support him through his anxiety and depression then had to go through hell in December when my dad passed away and now this. I just feel like i don’t have a say in the matter and my feelings don’t matter, he’s decided its over and that’s it. We have a beautiful 9 year old daughter who deserves better than this20 March 2021 at 11:46 pm #51758
I supported my ex for nine years. He experienced anxiety and depression and often said I caused it. He was ‘bullied’ at work then later joined a pyramid selling scheme where he changed beyond recognition. I supported him and put my needs on the back burner. In those nine years, our child started school, I started a new job, a friend I viewed as a second dad died then my dad died a year later.
Like your ex, he decided that was it, there was no conversation and he refused to go to couples counselling. He changed his relationship status to separated on Facebook before telling me!
It was hard to begin with. I now look back and am glad he left.21 March 2021 at 12:03 am #51759
I just don’t want all the changes to happen, i want to be able to stay in the house as my daughter feels so safe and secure here. I really miss him, I’ve missed him for the last 10 months but we’ve still sort of been together through them. He is my best friend too i just feel like I’m losing a lot21 March 2021 at 10:15 am #51787
Sorry to read this, it must be very difficult. I think couples counselling is a must, it’s a safe place for you both to express your feeling and listen to the other with no anger or avoidance. Ask your partner to try, you only get a few chances to save something precious. I’m not saying it will but it also may help you separate amicable and find ways to co-parent in the future?21 March 2021 at 11:10 am #51790
I told him i only wanted to try counselling, i told him i knew it might not work out even if we did try everything but my point is i just wanted us to at least try. He’s just throwing away 14 years together all because his feelings have changed.21 March 2021 at 11:35 am #51793
We don’t decide when we fall in or out of love, it’s chemistry we can’t explain. What we can decide to do is still listen to people we once loved with all our hearts.
Be as kind to him as you can, ask him to do it for all your futures. You know this man more than anybody if you been together all that time.21 March 2021 at 11:40 am #51794
I’ve asked him and up until yesterday that was our plan then all of a sudden he no longer wants to do it. It just doesn’t make any sense21 March 2021 at 1:50 pm #51800
Too many stories like this.It’s really sad.I’m sorry for the anguish you are going through.I know what it feels like to see something with lots of potential being thrown away in front of your eyes and when there’s an innocent child being hurt and you can’t do anything to make it better, it feels 100 times worse!
I hope today you do something nice for yourself.It’s Single Parents Day today.Not that many people recognize that! (My daughter smirked &asked me if I thought the shop would have a Single Parents Day card she could buy…)But you’re not alone and so many of us feel your pain. Really.💗21 March 2021 at 2:13 pm #51802
Thank you gummibear123. I’m out for a big walk with my daughter on her bike and our dog because it’s a beautiful day. I’m glad i found this website, it’s been good to read other people’s stories