I don’t know what to do
28 November 2020 at 7:25 pm #46366
Hi, this is my first time being in here. I have been a single mother for 7 years now. I have 3 boys, my oldest was 2 when my husband left us and I was pregnant with my now 6 year old. We had been together since we were 14, he was my everything. He left us just before Christmas because he was having an affair and got her pregnant. He chose his new family over us. He is now married to her and has 2 daughters with her. A lot of people have told me to just move on and get over it but I just can’t. It’s affected me so much. I feel completely worthless and a waste of human space, I hate everything about myself and I feel like I have failed at every aspect of my life. I went off the rails a bit and got pregnant with my now 4 year old after meeting a man going through a similar situation. He also abandoned me when I told him I was pregnant. Every man I’ve met since has treated me like dirt, like a piece of meat. I don’t want to be a single mother and I’m finding it terribly lonely. I want to end my life, I feel like I’m letting my children down and myself. Why am I not good enough, what have I done wrong. I am so worthless and depressed, anxiety is through the roof that I don’t want to leave the house or do anything productive. I hate myself so much but I love my children more than anything. I just can’t cope with how worthless and trash I feel.28 November 2020 at 9:55 pm #46368
Hi, i can understand how you’re feeling as I’ve gone through something similar. Please understand that it’s not you that’s the problem, it’s the way that other people have treated you. Have you had counselling or talking therapies? It might be worth thinking about, or possibly talk to your GP about medication as you sound quite low. Do you have friends or family that you could talk to and explain how you’re feeling? Finding a new hobby or something that you enjoy might help take your mind of things. Look after yourself x28 November 2020 at 11:17 pm #46369
I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Please don’t measure you’re worth based on the way that these men hace treated you. You are raising 3 boys which must be incredibly tough, you are a superwoman!!
Please get help. Think of your boys-they love you and you are their world. No child would be better off without their mother, they need you. You are doing amazing. I’m sorry that the men you have met have not been worthy of you or your time. Please get help. Thinking of you xxx28 November 2020 at 11:40 pm #46370
Thank you so much for your kind words ladies. It really does mean a lot.
it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who feels this way even though I wouldn’t wish anyone to feel the way I feel right now.
I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years because they couldn’t handle my depression which also hurts. I do have the best mum ever though who does so much for me and my boys but talking to her about how I feel just upsets her and I don’t want to upset her and when I do she just doesn’t understand. She married my dad at 28 and had 2 children and she’s been settled ever since.
I have tried to reach out to counselling but it’s never really worked and I’ve been on 2 lots of medication over the years which also haven’t helped.
I don’t really know what to do but you’re right, I need to forget all the horrible men and focus on my boys, they’re amazing and I feel so guilty feeling this way when I am also so lucky and grateful to have them.
I do want to start taking care of myself it’s just hard when you’ve got 3 kids to look after, im tired all the time and I feel so low.
thank you ladies 😘29 November 2020 at 8:59 am #46377
I completely understand. I now put myself and my children first and would never allow anyone to treat me the way same way again. Exercise is great for depression, I know it’s hard to get the motivation but it really does help.
If you’re looking for new friends, there’s an app called frolo that can help get in touch with other single parents in your area. Just remember you won’t feel like this forever, things get better with time x30 November 2020 at 10:15 am #46409
Thanks for posting on our forum. Its good to see other parents chatting with you. This can help to feel not so isolated. I will be sending you a private message with some signposting. Hopefully this may be of some use to you.