I am pathetic!

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  • #58337 Report

    Siany2103
    Participant

    my husband left me – ask to try again – and then left me again! All within two months. I found out he’s cheated on all of his partners.
    I feel humiliated, a failure, lonely, desperate.
    I dated a man who I didn’t find attractive and even slept with him because I feel so rejected.
    I have children and they are watching their mum desperate and crying.I’m even online dating and it’s just bringing me down.
    I don’t know how to change. I don’t know how to stop this feeling.
    I feel like I’m the only single person in the world. I’m looking at people’s left hands to see if they have a ring. I’m such a pathetic person.
    feeling incredibly depressed

    #58339 Report

    Sarah
    Participant

    Hello, you have been treated badly and that’s awful enough without you beating your self up on top of it all. Your in shock and grief that’s all, allow yourself time to feel your feelings be them heartbroken, lonely and sad , these are natural feelings it’s ok , your husbands behaviour isn’t a reflection of you it’s a reflection of him. You just need to give yourself time to grieve your relationship that’s all x

    #58341 Report

    Timefortea
    Participant

    Hi Siany2103,

     

    I’m sorry you are going through such a hard time!
    I think you are obviously going through a huge change in your life that will take a very long time to get used to but it’s important to go through the motions such as @Sarah said.

    You certainly aren’t pathetic or any of the above! I know despite what people will tell you here or in your personal life your still going to have those same emotions about yourself as it’s normal thing for us as individuals to do, despite the outside support we receive.

    From what I have seen a lot of people find ways to turn their unfortunate life events into something positive. Try and find something you enjoy and put all the energy you have into that, even if it’s just an ounce of energy.

    Rebound relationships are certainly not unheard of but I would be wary doing this just in case anyone tried  to take advantage of you whilst your in a fragile state (if you don’t mind me saying).

    I do hope things improve for you!

    #58389 Report

    Vintagedresser
    Participant

    It will take time but you need to learn to love being who you are and your life as a single woman. You really don’t need a man hun they are not the be all and end all. What we need is to find the thing we love and then work from there. Trust me once you let go of the negative you get to choose exactly what you want from anyone and from your life. Plus your gorgeous you look like you need to be in a commercial. Don’t waste tears on someone who isn’t doing the same ok lovely ❤

    #58438 Report

    Siany2103
    Participant

    Thank you so much. I’m feeling so damn low. Your words really help me up

    #60040 Report

    cncoffee
    Participant

    @Siany2103 …. I am pathetic drew my attention to your post and then your first line of words too speaks volume..You started with my Husband left me. I want to correct you by saying your Husband won’t ever leave you for any reason whatsoever,It might be that you are doing something wrong or he does not have what it takes to be your husband. It’s that simple cos firstly this thing called marriage or relationship is a for better for worse situation so when the good gets going you are on the same train and when you get sore you still stick and work through it. I saw you wrote he or you asked to try again and then left again it states that something is wrong in that space and then I read further that he cheated on all of his partners, who keeps partners in their numbers and is expected to better perform or relates normal among all of these partners. He sure is divided among all the said partners and as such the partner gets a few percentage of the Man shared within ALL of the partners scattered all over which is the reason why it didn’t work with you even you both agreed to try again.

    I urge you to stop biting hard on yourself and see yourself as the star that I see you are and work on yourself. You sure can change and sincerely maybe you do not need to change for anybody as you might be doing just fine as it is…

    You are a Wonderful person as against being pathetic that you are seeing yourself as.

     

    #60042 Report

    ril06
    Participant

    So sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I have been there but starting to feel a little better.
    I have found focusing on loving yourself has really helped me and spending time appreciating who I am.

    I know it is really hard but try and focus on what is so good in you- I spent so long worrying about what was so wrong with me and why it was easy to leave me but now im really trying to see that it was not my choice and it’s a shame for them that they felt they could do better than this life. I have also found happiness in the small things- my ex snapped at me the other day because I didn’t answer him straight away and I realised how little I was respected during my marriage and how normal it was for me to be spoken to like that. We all deserve to be valued and respected. Focus on the great things about you.
    Focus on trying to be the person you need right now and don’t ever think you are pathetic.

    #60117 Report

    Wivanay
    Participant

    I’m guessing ou feel like you’ve been jumped on from a great height, twice! You’re only human for giving another chance, don’t beat yourself up for hoping that it would work out. You can’t help how you feel about someone, and what’s happened is far more a reflection on them than you. That just sounds so cruel, giving false hope and then doing the same again. Just give yourself time to process and grieve the loss of the relationship.

    It’s very normal to go out with people in these circumstances, you just wanted to feel wanted again, and it maybe helps a little at the time, but it can make you feel worse in the long run. But again, don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s perfectly understandable.

    Take some time for you, learn how to love you. I know it sounds very cliché, but it is true. It took me a while to learn that exterior things, never get to the root of anything. People, things, places, only act as a temporary distraction, and whatever was there in the first place, will still be there when the distractions are gone.

    You will be ok, I am 100% confident when I say that, it just might not look like it from your angle just now.

    Take care

    #61021 Report

    skiney
    Participant

    Yes I know how you feel had adultery on me 3 times and felt so lost I wanted to accept my marriage back and like an idiot I did but to find out 2 weeks later things don’t change and put the knife in me more and she went off with another.

    6 months later after being a single dad because she dissouned us both I do what you do try to find someone to love me , but you can’t force it looking at fingers with rings I do that still but I’m forcing myself to just enjoy ourselves. Time heels that’s what they say I hope so I hate being not with someone to live my life with.

    The right person will come along, there’s someone for everyone.  I’m hanging on to that belief

    Take care and fight on

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)

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