I am not ready to let my ex- husband to visit my 4 yrs old son.

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum I am not ready to let my ex- husband to visit my 4 yrs old son.

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  • #59309 Report


    I been married for 5 years and seperates for 3 yrs now.  He  was abusive and his parents and grandparents were same, disrespecting me ans my parents.  ISSUE- DOMESTIC VOILENCE, so i have to call Cops one day. Enough was enough. Son was just 14 mths. He never helped me child nor his family.  We lived together in same house. He is typical mommas boy.  He didnot help me for 9 mths,  so i have to apply through CMS.  Even after separation, he still sent me abusive message, defame me in social media and yell at me infront of child and my parents.   Becausw he is a father, therefore i let him.visit any day, time he wanted. When he used to visit him, he is always in vedio call with his oarents, not bonding with little one.   After he call me names and  post nasty  things in social media, and ofcourse shouting infront of son, i told him not to visit son untill further notice.   Finally our financial proceding been completed and hearing date for final was today. I receive a call from a mediator that she met my ex- husband  and wants to see my son. I told mediator that due to domestic voilence and  so many issues, i  have to take one step a time. Everythings is overwhelming and stressful.  Now,  my hearing supposed to be next week in postponed until further notice.what a shame. Been  2.5 yrs that i filed for divorce.

    I wanted to finish my divorce and go to mediator for child visit which i am not yet ready, at a same time i have to do sooner or latter.  When i was with him and his parents, i got no help. Now i have struggled so much  being single parent ofcourse my parents and sibling helped me so much. I am still stayinv with my oarents and i am unemployed, full time student.

    Please help me.  How can i deal with this child  contact with mediator.  My 4yrs old son doesnot even know about his existance.


    #59709 Report



    usually what can happen is if you tell mediator that you do not want to engage with them because of Domestic violence, then they can give your ex permission to apply to court for child contact. can not give legal advice but my thoughts are it is always better to settle issues in mediation and not go to court. if it does end up in court, then I think the courts will let your ex build up contact gradually with the child, like start off doing video calls, or use a contact centre. if they believe he is abusive, then they may get him to take parenting courses or something like that.

    #59794 Report


    Hi Lana, Welcome to the forum. I am one of the moderators here. This sounds like something that our helpline could advise you on. Please do give them a call if you need to talk this through:

    •   Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline – Freephone 0808 802 0925Opening hours:  Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10- 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4  They can be busy so callers can expect to wait up to 20 minutes before the call is answered

    Best wishes, Helen

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