husband’s new gf 😢

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  • #16357 Report

    theyogajeanie
    Participant

    Hi everyone. I’m a newbie here and just wanted to sound off/ see if I’m over-reacting.

    My husband of 10 years separated at the end of July. I moved out of our home (rented) with our 2 children. Pretty much straight away, he started seeing another woman and when my girls came

    home from his house yesterday, it emerged that this new girl had not only spent the whole weekend with them, but also slept over.

    I hit the roof when I found out- it was obvious that my children didn’t feel comfortable telling me and he never mentioned it when he dropped them off- even though he came in for a cuppa!

    i know legally that I can’t stop him

    from having her there when he’s got the girls. But surely, less than 2 months after we moved out of our family home, I should expect that they don’t have to see another woman in daddy’s bed?

    #16358 Report

    H
    Participant

    Unfortunately the partner that moves on straight away in my experience doesn’t see it like that this happened with my kids too as much as it is really frustrating and insensitive too us there is nothing we can do about it again talking from experience the more you comment the more they do it.

     

    #16362 Report

    Westernchampion
    Participant

    I would say at the very least you should have found out from him and not from your children.  Sounding off about things is good and no you are not overreacting.

    #16365 Report

    theyogajeanie
    Participant

    Thank you for the replies. I get the feeling he’s just trying to hurt me- and it’s blooming succeeding! I just can’t believe he’d put our girls in the middle like this. My oldest is 8 and she understands what’s going on. She’s always worried that his behaviour will upset me, bless her.

    #16367 Report

    H
    Participant

    He will be and it’s still about control. I find if you show them it bothers you they get a kick out of it and then do something bigger that they will know will bother you or upset you for the reaction.

    I found out through my 2 kids that his gf that he left us for is pregnant after him apparantely leaving us because he didn’t want that life he didn’t want to live as a family and be married he wanted to find himself and have me time apparantely he was 33 when he left with 2 kids now 19 months later living with that girl and baby on the way so the only difference is he’s not married he will have the same life all again my eldest is 12 and said why didn’t dad want to live with us but now having another child so believe me you still have more to come

    #16369 Report

    theyogajeanie
    Participant

    Oh my god, H that’s awful. I don’t know how you cope with that situation- I’d be totally devastated.  Why do they have to be so bloody cruel? I don’t get it. I’m just keeping my head down, going to work and focusing on my girls. And praying that it gets easier soon!!!

    #16370 Report

    H
    Participant

    I cried when they told me not because I want him back because I definetly don’t we are divorced now so I’d never go back it’s very hurtful as he told me I can’t have this life anymore I don’t want it I don’t want family life I need to find myself and then straight away said he liked her told me her name and even told the kids but I’m not stupid he had been having another affair then starts another family he doesn’t even help a great deal with our 2 he has for dinner on 1 day in the week after school and then from 3pm sat -6pm Sunday every other weekend.

    #16383 Report

    theyogajeanie
    Participant

    That’s shocking, what a waste of space. I suspect mine has been seeing this girl since well before we separated too. I haven’t asked him outright as I don’t think I want to know the answer!

    #16386 Report

    H
    Participant

    It was his 2nd affair during our marriage so don’t think he’s going to change don’t need that in my life.

    Your probably right though how are you otherwise is it in any way civil or at the constant argument stage have you got maintenance and contact sorted ok

    #16387 Report

    theyogajeanie
    Participant

    No chance of maintenance! One of the reasons we split was his gross mismanagement of our finances, which lead us to lose our house. He is penniless. It was perfectly civil until this weekend but now I’m at the ‘ I fu@king hate you’ stage!!!

    #16396 Report

    Westernchampion
    Participant

    Gross mismanagement of finances sounds familiar. I think we would have lost our house if we had a mortgage. What’s hard to understand is how someone can go from managing money fine to making countless mistakes without consideration for how it might affect the family.

    #16399 Report

    theyogajeanie
    Participant

    My ex was never any good with money. He kept the fact that he’d run up over £40,000 worth of debt secret until I got a letter from

    the mortgage company saying we were in serious arrears 😕

    #16402 Report

    Westernchampion
    Participant

    When I look back I wonder how I let it happen because I know I could have done more to prevent it getting so out of control. I wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

    #16417 Report

    Nightrunner
    Participant

    This is a bit off subject but the reason I woukd bot by a house with the kids exis because he was irrisponsible. He just doen’t realise I know how irresponsible he was

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)

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