Husband not cooperating with separation

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  • #26514 Report

    Graciejane
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’ve posted before about wanting to leave my husband who I’ve struggled with for years and who is emotionally abusive. We have  been to counselling etc and i really do feel this is the end. We have a joint mortgage and 2 kids.

    Initially I wanted to buy him out the house but have now decided the better option is to sell. However he is not on board. After initially saying ‘do what you want’ he refused to give me the documents I needed to put the house up for sale. Hes decided he wants to fight me so that he can tell our children when they are older that he tried to keep the family together.

    I have made an appointment with a solicitor but just wondered if anyone had any similar experiences and what the outcome was. Do I need to start a divorce to sell? Thanks

    #26548 Report

    Graciejane
    Participant

    Thanks, this all sounds like it could go on for years and is very depressing! I do work but am on mat leave until august. Thanks for the list. Its difficult to separate finances when there is a joint mortgage  nursery fees etc. I had an appointment with a solicitor but now think I should have at least attempted mediation first. My head is spinning!

    #26569 Report

    CF
    Participant

    Hi,

    I was – and unfortunately despite moving out still am –  in a similar situation, stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship, but he agreed to sell the joint property.  I was able to file for divorce while living under the same roof, the mediator didn’t mention what we should/shouldn’t be doing together – but it was such an awful situation I would cowar in my childs room for the evening when my husband got in from work – we hadn’t been doing any of the things Anonymous mentions (shopping together/watching tv, there was an odd rare occasion where we would attend child activities but very rare), I felt too scared to be in the same room.

    You have to attend mediation before divorce, but if he is unwilling to attend you can attend alone and have it noted by the mediator (that he was unwilling to attend), good luck

    #26575 Report

    Graciejane
    Participant

    Thanks @cf i hope things improve for you now your away from him. I feel like this is a never ending nightmare at the minute 😑

    #26584 Report

    Lola
    Moderator

    Hi CF

    It sounds like you’ve had a difficult time.  You can contact the Women’s Aid domestic violence helpline as they deal with current and historic abuse.  Here’s a link.

    https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

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