Husband left

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  • #8118 Report

    MsGilly
    Participant

    I have been married for 17 years with 3 kids 2 of who still stay at home.  I was a housewife while my husband went to work.

    Hope this makes sense I am not to great at writing down my feelings.

    October last year my husband told me he didn’t love me anymore and wanted to get Christmas and new year out the way, thinks seemed to go back to normal and I thought maybe he was just having a hard time of it but about 3 weeks ago he said the same thing again and I could tell he was very serious.

    We argued with me doing most of the shouting and crying, he said he didn’t was us living a lie anymore and wanted to remain friends and be amicable for the kids sake, but what I find really infuriating is that he thinks I am supposed to be at the same emotional level, this has been his feeling for months and I have only had a few weeks so my emotions are all over the place, sometimes I want to talk to him and other times I just want to scream my head off at him but then he calls me psycho. Just the other day he said he I was annoying because sometimes I want to talk to him and other times I don’t.

    He says he will always love and care for me just not the same way as before and he expect me to just be ok with that and remain friends.  I am furious and sad that he claims to love and care for me but does this to me, how can you claim to love someone but break their heart.

    Any way 2 weeks ago I told him it would be best if he left to which he agreed now I am a mess, I cry a lot but I try to hide it from my kids but it pours out when I am alone, I don’t eat or sleep properly,  I force myself to do the basic housework, I make sure my kids are ok and would never dream of neglecting them.

    I am living in the family home until I can find some place else to live as the house is to big for my needs, my oldest son want to stay with his dad which is very upsetting that kids are going to be split up but he is 15 and I don’t want to force him to come with me but the younger one who is 7 is coming with me.

    I haven’t worked for 17 years as my husband took care of everything while I looked after the kids, I have no skills or confidence so I am stressing at trying to find a job and making sure I can still be their for my son.  I am certain my husband will make sure he doesn’t go without but I still need to stand on my own 2 feet and make sure I can look after myself as well as my son.

    I know these feeling will pass and chances are things will be ok for me I just feel so fed up.

    #8140 Report

    Traveller123
    Participant

    Sometimes the flame goes out and people have to move on.  Over 40% of marriages in UK end in divorce so you are not alone and should not feel a failure.

    I knew my partner 10 years before we married.  However, marriage only lasted 7 years.

    Your ex will be required to pay maintenance for the Children and you will be entitled to CTC and CB.  If you gave up a career to be a SAHM then your ex may have to pay SM too depending on what he earns and what he has left after he has paid for his own needs.

    #8147 Report

    Star12
    Participant

    Aw luv so much of this rings true with my situation. My other half had obviously in his mind made the decision to leave months ago so is already to divorce me. Unfortunately he didn’t share this with me! I too am an emotional wreck and constantly feel sick as this is all still very new to me. He has already moved on and is with someone else after only 4 weeks! I too have been isolated from friends and family so know how you feel. Please stay strong and know that you are not alone xx

    #8176 Report

    Dandelion
    Participant

    I was reading your post and apart from a few details, it’s my story!!

    17 years of marriage, one child and suddenly he announced in October that he wants us to separate.

    Although we had a few rough patches, I thought we would work this one out too but he’s adamant we are to separate and get divorced!

    I am heartbroken, I go through good and bad days and the future looks bleak.

    Same as you, I gave  up work to look after our child. I never paid a bill or anything! I’m not English and my family is not able to help.

    He will support us but what I really want is to have a family together , to have what we had and not to lose our future.

    So I guess what I’m trying to say, I know how you feel – I am happy to talk to you 🙂

    As they say- problem shared  is a problem halved

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