Husband left us and I’m 7 months pregnant

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  • #44206 Report

    ZippoKino
    Participant

    My husband left me and my toddler 2 weeks ago and I’m due our planned second baby in 7 weeks.

    I’m completely lost. I’m scared about having this baby on my own, in a pandemic. I’m lonely already and feel like I’ll never meet anyone with having two small children. I’m worried about finances. I just can’t get my head round it.

    #44214 Report

    NLD1980
    Participant

    I had this same thought of how can I move on with 3 children and a friend said to me that whoever is meant to be by your side will always find their way there regardless. Be kind to yourself and enjoy your beautiful kiddies until your puzzle falls into place because it will.

    #44267 Report

    ZippoKino
    Participant

    Thank you. I hope that proves to be true.

    #44407 Report

    Single Mam
    Participant

    If it helps, my partner left me when I was 15 weeks pregnant but later came back. We tried to make it work but never worked out as the trust was broken, so it eventually ended for good while I was expecting our second. I went through the pregnancy alone with a 2year old with no friends nor family for support, was depressed and judged by everyone I came across so I’ve just gone into my shell. It’s a struggle I’m not gonna lie but I live for my kids. In my bid to get over my loneliness and bad feelings, that’s why I’ve joined this group. So take it from me, you will get through this even though its going to be tough. Remain calm and remind yourself on how lucky you are to be carrying a beautiful human who chose you to be their mammy. Wishing you all the best and I’m here for you x

    #44523 Report

    ZippoKino
    Participant

    Thank you Single Mam.

    Was he at the birth of your second? How long has it been since you split? Any tips for coping with a newborn and toddler and the loneliness?

    #44525 Report

    Single Mam
    Participant

    No love, he wasn’t at the birth and I went through it alone just like the first time. Luckily it was a very easy vaginal birth despite the fact I was very ill beforehand, but it turned out grand in the end. We went our separate ways early last year, so about a year and half ago.

     

    Unfortunately there are no tips to get over the loneliness and coping with a baby and toddler than to remain focus, keep your kids at the forefront of everything you do as that’s the only thing that helped me get over the postnatal depression as I got no help whatsoever. Honestly, I sometimes wonder how I did it cos its tough but as mothers, we’re stronger than we know. Believe me, it’s an uphill struggle but it does get easier even though I’m not there yet. I live for my kids and I know the mentality of knowing that I’m all they got helps me stay grounded. Before the lockdown though, free playsessions really helped as it gave me a play to take my kids to play indoors away from home. I had to attend various ones as a lot of the ones I went had hostile mums that felt threatened by a single mum and didn’t want to be friends. I knew this as I’m blessed with the gift of been able to read people and I was right everytime. They did bring me down so I gained the courage to not go looking for friends but to have fun with my kids, and it really helped. While i chat with other parents there, it ends there but my focus stayed with my kids. Don’t get me wrong, it’ll be nice to have friends but would rather not have judgemental ones that thinks it’s my choice for been single. Lockdown was very tough but we’re still here and I’m hopeful that things will get better someday. As my Nan always says, 100years is not forever. Please be kind to yourself and know that none of this is your fault as things happen for a reason.

     

    Please forgive my novel but the bottom line is that you’ll be fine and there’s aways light at the end of the tunnel. Though I’m not there yet, my positivity pulls me through. I’m here for a chat anytime as our situation is the exact same xxx

    #44758 Report

    ZippoKino
    Participant

    Thank you. I’m worried about PND. I’m trying to access as much emotional support as I can now while I feel awake enough to sort it all.

    I’m worried about judgement too. I feel ashamed almost which I doesn’t make sense because he was the one who chose to walk out and sorted everything out for himself behind my back.

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