Husband left me

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  • #19178 Report

    Gingerbreadgirl
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    Me and my husband have been together over ten years we have a child together who is very young last year my husband lost his job which made us leave our family home and return back to my parents to help us focus on what we had and what we wanted to achieve in the next year. Since my child turned one and working in a different area my husband has been acting very strange very distant basically started looking after himself more lost weight started to shave and eat more healithy even tho he is a picky eater. He also change his attitude towards things and made our child go into nursery at just 10 months and following a very traumatic birth i had to returned to work which i agreed on. Then when i came across some pictures of him texting another woman i asked if there was anything going on he said he was lonely and it was just conversation something i couldnt give him as i was at work. He then claimed he suffered with aniexty the following week and went to a hotel afterwards i found also out that he went clubbing with the same woman whilst our child was poorly and me worried to death at home. He then leaves us on the 30th december claiming i need to sort myself out as he cannot live like this anymore and now he threatens me because after a day of leaving he demandes to see his child by arriving at my work and embarrassing me publicly tp the point i had to ring security i phoned him new years eve and asked if he wanted to see our child yet he wasnt anywhere to be seen later he claimed that he was sleeping in his car on the side of the motorway yet i drove past it twice.  I let him see our child after he did that and it was with myself i cannot trust this man without me being there i think its because of how hes ended our marriage yet i dont even mind sitting in my car waiting him to spend quality time with our child its still a no no and that he will be contactong the solcitors to negotiate hes currently living in a hotel and he lies constantly where he is. Is it wrong for me to be like this?

     

    #19237 Report

    Mozza2019
    Participant

    Hi.  I am a Dad of 2 whose wife did all the cheating and lying.  I suffer from anxiety but it depends on what form it takes as to why that may impact his behaviour.  If he has low self asteam then having contact with other women could have been at first just a moral boost.  From what you have said though, it seems to have gone way past that.  I didnt see the signs, nothing quite so obvious as you have seen, then one day..WHAM!  She told me and only because the girlfriend of the bloke she was seeing found out and text her.

    Anyway. Yes he seems deffinetly untrustworthy but there is a big difference I feel, between how he treats you and how he would treat his child.  He was very wrong seeing the woman when your child was poorly.  He was very wrong going to your work.  He sounds messed up.  But… can he be left alone with your child… thats a difficult one to answer.

    I would anyway be seeking advice from a Solicitor, but as I have said to someone else, get in there first.  Get the child benefit sorted to you. Ensure you have the child more than him so you can get the most maintenance of him.  Look into all the benefits you can get.  If you have a home together, Do NOT ask him or tell him to move out without discussing this with a Solicitor as there is some weird law where he can claim rent from youy, if you do.  I almost fell for that one.

    I hope this has helped a little.  Stay in touch if you would like to talk more. P

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