Husband left for younger women
20 January 2021 at 4:44 pm #48440
I hope noone cares I’m not a single parent. In fact, I don’t even know how exactly I got here. I do know it was because of how much I’m disgusted by these situations.
Girls, what I am going to say to you is nothing like what I’ve read in other responses.
I’m single, absolutely single. I have always been, and rarely been in relationships EXACTLY because I can easily sieze men that will turn out rotten. And there are many of them still, unfortunately. I have left recent relationships, that is, at the time you are supposed to be in the cusp of the honeymoon period, BECAUSE I could see how patriarchal the thing would be if I continued the relationship. And don’t get me started how I ceased seeing and speaking to men I found out were cheating/having women around while they were supposedly “heading-over heels” in love with me, and I did REALLY early on. There is NO way in hell these men will ever be different. Infidelity is not something you do once, ever. And if there was a sliiight chance they’d never do it again, it is still unforgivable. Why? Because it is a PRINCIPLES thing: who has them high enough and is worth it, will NEVER cheat. They might have doubts, but the minute they do, they say it and leave you, they don’t do this lying and cheating and coming and going and etc. I had one of the 2 “cheaters” of my life CRYING to me for months after I left without saying a single word. The only reason I lastly answered his call was because I wanted him to stop doing it because I didn’t do it to get even, but simply because I LOVE AND RESPECT myself and since I did the same with him and he didn’t do it back, then no need to explain and he was dead to me the minute I found out. It was ME who lost respect for him… The other one is still crying for me after 15 years, and even left the country. The one who didn’t cheat but was chauvinist, he went on to hate me and married a girl who SADLY did and does allow him to walk all over her. He learnt NOTHING. I’m sorry for the poor, lovely girl, taking his breadcrumbs.
Sorry, this might not be the politically correct message. Of course it is not your fault and you shouldn’t hate yourself, but if you want to do some growing and leave this behind, you DEFINITELY have to ask yourself: why did I get into this? Men like these do give clues they will turn into green old men. You have to ask yourself: WHY ON EARTH did I let him come and go with a lover??? That is crazy. And DON’T put your children as excuses. I’m sure your children, once they are adults, and if they knew what happened, would HATE the bastard for doing what he did and hate the fact that their mother allowed this to be done to herself. If you think this is harsh, think again, because 1, living in denial won’t do you any good and 2, what I am actually telling you is
One thing must be the pain of an ended relationship and in that way. But you all need to ask yourselves why you didn’t just leave them THE MINUTE you knew what they were doing. How many men out there would allow for a woman to go sleep with another man and then come back to them? Several times and with children in the picture? Few, if not none, right? Then why do WOMEN think they should?
Girls, you are worth it.
Ever since I was a very young girl, I’ve always despised men who thought it was ok to approach someone so much younger. The entitlement. The fact that they would discriminate on their peers (same age women), that they would look in the mirror and not see the reflection, not acknowledge they are older but DO see it in women. I’d never date a taken man, let alone one who has an older wife and children, out of respect for all of them and for myself. I am SO sorry not every girl is like me.
Now, I was always this strong but did fall, not because of one man in particular, but because I’d love to have a life companion. Just not at any price. One day I cried a lot because of this, and I got into severe health problems. Me, who had always been a strong girl. After this, I’ve learned that I’ll never EVER shed a tear for someone. If they cheat, I’ll repeat the same thing I did before. If there is not a major thing but they decide to leave, I’ll calmly accept it, but I will NEVER EEEVER, let my health be impacted by a man. You girls have even stronger reasons than I did. Your children.
Know your worth. Sorry, your husbands turned into awful people. Acknowledge that inside, but don’t tell it to anyone, for the sake of your children. Just feel pity for them on the inside. But don’t cry. I mean, cry now for what it was if you need to, but try to be over it as soon as you can. Believe me, if you see this for what it is (that they are disgusting, poor green old “men”, and that you are smarter and were the better person, you’ll soon realise it’s not worth the cry. On the outside, do have good communication for the sake of your children, but don’t explain any feelings to them. Leave that behind.
You are the ones worth crying for if left- not them.
I hope you learn to respect yourselves and not take anyone who doesn’t at the same level.
Arrange what needs to be arranged for your kids, take care of you, do things for you, go out if you can, and be happy.
I wish you all the best.