Husband left 4wks I’m not coping

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  • #43703 Report

    TaniaL
    Participant

    My husband left 4wks ago after a minor argument and is refusing any contact with me. We have 2 children age 7 and 5 and he has seen them once for an hr in that time and that’s probably what’s hurting me the most as he was such a fun dad before this . He had moved to his mums but left after a wk and is now sleeping at his office . I am totally lost what to do as he won’t reply ,I have only txt him twice asking him to come home or can we talk but nothing. I can’t concentrate on anything and keep breaking down in wrk and in front of my kids and I don’t want to do that to them . Please help has anyone else been through this and how long will it last 😔

    #43710 Report

    Hi sorry to hear that. My wife left with our 2 kids about 2 months ago. They were 11 year old twin Girls. She was letting me talk to them but now has blocked the phone and I have not been able to talk to them. it is very painful. I have tried emailing her as well as leaving voice mails but she has not let me talk to the kids. I miss the kids a lot. I wish I could tell you how long it will last but no body has been able to answer that question. I would give anything to have the girls with me. I hope through communication we can heal.

    #43719 Report

    TaniaL
    Participant

    I’m sorry to hear that you have lost communication with your daughters I’m sure it’s very hard for you and you must miss them a great deal. Please keep trying for them,  eventually they will insist on seeing you. My husband has ignored my children for a month now and they miss him so much I have no idea if he will ever want a relationship with them but I know I’ll be here to support them whatever the outcome.

    #43766 Report

    Cara35
    Participant

    Hi TaniaL,

    my partner (we weren’t married, but together 16years) left at the beginning of lockdown at Easter, I’m still heartbroken as it was out the blue but I’m here if you need a chat or someone who knows what you are going through x

    #43767 Report

    TaniaL
    Participant

    I’m sorry to hear you’ve had the same problems it’s totally heart breaking and being blind sighted by it makes it so much worst . Has your partner had any contact with you ? In my gut I know it’s over but never thought he would treat our daughters like this, it’s what hurting me the most I hate the thoughts that he will ruin his relationship with them he was actually a pretty good daddy with them, I think lockdown played a big part in our break up, he was still working and I was stuck at home all day then got no communication when he came home because he was tired. How do you feel now about your situation? Are you able to get on with life ? Xxx

    #43769 Report

    Cara35
    Participant

    I’m still finding it really hard but I spoke with my doctor and she said the feelings are of grieving when a relationship ends out the blue. I’m still in love with a man that has chosen a life on his own. He said he wants freedom so I feel it’s some form of mid life crisis. He’s still been a good dad to our son but it pains me to see him knowing I have this connection with him forever. I totally feel your pain and honestly councelling with my doctor helps (I’ve also been put on the lowest dose of anti depressant) which at first I felt defeated and ashamed at but realised you can’t cope with it all without some help.
    how you feeling about the situation at the moment? You coping ok? Your doing an amazing job with the kids im

    sure

    #43773 Report

    Shahnaz
    Participant

    Hi. Very sorry to hear this.

    My son is 5 and my daughter is just one year old. He left .  It hurts, hurts so very much. But we have to cope. Have to be strong , for ourselves and for our children. Please give it a bit of time. Give yourself a bit of time. Socialise   and try not to think too much.

    Will be nice to hear from you again.

    Take care of yourself.

    Shahnaz

    #43774 Report

    TaniaL
    Participant

    I spent the start of the yr in counselling and building myself up as I have very low confidence and got off anxiety meds if I need to I could to back on them,  totally agree that it’s a grieving pain and hopefullyit ends soon.  I love him and I miss him but I’m accepting that this isn’t the life he wants but what is messing with my head is the silent treatment I’m stuck in limbo,  don’t know what’s happening with the kids,  the house, his stuff or even helping pay for the children. His mum believes he’s having some sort of breakdown but I know this is who he is ,I’ve ben here b4 at the start of our relationship.

     

     

    #43775 Report

    TaniaL
    Participant

    Hi Shahnaz some days it’s so hard to be strong and I’ve found myself crying in front of my girls, they have been so good in comforting me but it’s not what I want them to see, I want them to cry if they need to with it worry they will upset me or talk about their daddy. I am definitely getting stronger thu accepting this is not the life he wants is helping. I have managed to rebuild relationships with my family but all my friends have long gone. I’m keeping busy taking the girls out to parks and family. Money is a real issue atm because I’m now left to pay for everything only own so can’t take them away from the situation for a while. Do u still have contact with your partner at all ? 

    #43803 Report

    Shahnaz
    Participant

    Hi. Thank you for your mags.

    You are lucky to have your family here, I don’t have a family here in the UK. I have my distant relatives but they are my husband’s relatives too. His friends were my friends . So at the moment very lonely and very lost. I moved in to a new area, trying to settle in alone.  I just registrar in ginger bread a couple of weeks ago. Not yet sure what happens here.

    As you mentioned, finance is your main issues now,  gingerbread offers professional advice. I think you must contact them directly and seek advice about this. I am sure things will get better soon you.

    I am a actually trying to make friends here . Trying to talk to other single parents .

    Feel free to drop a l

    #43804 Report

    Shahnaz
    Participant

    Please feel free to drop a line whenever you feel lonely like I do.

    Regards

    Shahnaz

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