Husband just walked out
10 February 2018 at 9:13 pm #7556
Im new on here, my husband announced a few weeks ago that he has had enough, we have been arguing lots since I went back to work from maternity, we have 2 young children. He says we no longer want the same things and have grown apart, I can see exactly what he means but obviously this hurts and is very raw. We have been married 5 years and our youngest child is 1, my husband says we no longer talk or get on, we argue, he just says yes to everything to please me or I will get upset… He says I take over everything e.g. The decore of the house is just around what I want, he says we want different things for the children. I have been quite stressed with returning to work and have found that my husband hasn’t really helped me with chores around the house so this has added to my stress levels and us arguing …. I can see that we have grown apart and do want different things, I’m also so sad that our children won’t have a family unit and so I have been battling to stay with him for the last 2 weeks…. He says it will never work and he won’t even give it a try, in my heart I also know he isn’t right for me but I feel so sad for my children as they are both so young. I did love him once but of late our differences have shown up and I now don’t feel at all close to him, we haven’t slept together since my baby boy was conceived 19 months ago…..he never shows any interest in that side of things either , it’s over and I’m now a single mummy with 2 children under 311 February 2018 at 6:45 am #7559
Nemofish, I’m so sorry to read your post. Firstly, you are not alone. Various points that you make I have endured. The only difference seemingly with me is that my wife has cheated on me twice, and is leaving.
Have you tried counselling (both of you together)? This could well help to get you, if he’ll agree.
Family dynamics do change, and adjusting as parents/spouses is important.
Also, figure who will help you through this – your support network is going to be viral, for you and the children.
11 February 2018 at 8:46 am #7565
- Stay strong.
I just feel like he has given up on our family unit and that is what hurts the most and how kids will be effected11 February 2018 at 4:11 pm #7587
Nemofish00, I’m sad that you’re having to go through this, it’s terrible but if he’s absolutely adamant that it’s over then go with the flow. We don’t have control over others actions, only our own. Hold it together for the sake of your children, keep everything routine and use your support network to help keep things in perspective. I think having practical issues like how you’ll cope financially, covering childcare and making access arrangements the major issues in how we handle/cope with big changes. Being alone with multiple young children has its challenges but despite being single we’re all capable of being the parent we hoped for. There’s plenty of people walked the path, or are walking the path you’re on, you don’t need to do it alone.14 February 2018 at 4:37 pm #7640
I’m so sorry to hear this. My husband walked out on me and our two daughters. I was 4 months pregnant when he walked out just after Christmas. We had been married 12 years this year. No signs of him doing this. I’m upset each day of what the future holds for my girls and unborn child having to go through birth in my own (I haven’t any family or friends who would be willing to go through the birth).
I’m tired. And scared. And I am embarrassed to tell people as we live in quite an upmarket area and girls go to private school so I know I will be judged as there aren’t many single parents.
we just need to be strong and hopefully there’s happiness around the corner. But I’m in a similar situation and I’m sure there must be others x14 February 2018 at 7:19 pm #7643
Hi so sorry for you I was a man in a similar situation it does get better I promise after 10 years of happy marriage my then wife turned around I don’t love you anymore?? I brought her two children up as my own from babies we were inseparable then we had twin boys and when they turned 2 she said she’s leaving the arguing started I housed my step children as well as my twins when she left I divorced her 3 months later after she announced she wanted to re marry a child hood friend imagine 😢??
anyway I’ve done it all as well as caring for my sick father till he passed early last year my twins are amazing they are 6 now and want for nothing I’ve done it all alone no family or friends but things do get better and it’s better to be a single parent with a smile on your face instead of being unhappy and pretending you are worth so much more as I know I am it took along time but I’m a survivor and not a victim all the best you and your children will always be blessed .14 February 2018 at 8:33 pm #7652
My husband left 6 months ago. I was 37 weeks pregnant and had a nearly 4 yr old at the time. I begged him to go to counselling, to spend quality time together and talked about change . This just made him angry with me. I’ve read that by doing this it just pushes them away.. It’s true. I was devastated and still am. It’s awful seeing him and knowing him for the children .
I hurt a lot, an awful lot but I am really trying to make progress. I go places and do things remembering how I felt after it all happened . I had a baby too in all of it. I have made progress but it’s a long road. The best advice I have read is to be kind to yourself and look after yourself . I have a 4 year old and 5 month baby but I do make time for me.
I don’t hink this will ever not hurt but I’m trying. Sending hugs .x14 February 2018 at 8:52 pm #7655
Similar to me a few years ago now. Kids were a bit older, 2 and 5, and after being unemployed i was about to start a new job the week he announced he was leaving. He had decided. I hadn’t agreed and wanted to try and work things out. He went away for the weekend and i put off telling anyone but i soon got texts from some of our friends saying they were sorry to hear about our split so i realised there was no changing his mind. We still got on and he took a while to find a flat and move out. We have a very amicable relationship but it has been really hard. Especially as he soon moved on and found a new partner and soon had a new baby on the way. This wasn’t already going on, but he had the time to go out and meat people once he was on his own. We share care with the children. It was about 70/30 due to his work pattern but is about 50/50 now. I hate not having the kids but I’m shattered so need the break, but don’t do an awful lot with myself. I still feel hurt, 3 Years later, and do often feel envious of his new relationship when i see photos of my kids on FB with their new extended family. Hopefully I will feel able to move on at some point.
I can’t offer and words of wisdom other than knowing that there are lots of us going through similar. Surround yourself with your friends – you soon find out who they really are. Make sure you sort out some support for you physically, emotionally and financially.