Husband just left me after 25 years don’t know where to turn

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  • #57713 Report


    My husband & I have been together 25 years & on the most part very happy. We have three kids 22, 20 & 15.
    For the last 20 years I’ve been a stay at home mum doing all the childcare. Husband has good job that takes him away on business. He is a high earner £80k & has always controlled the finances, not involving me. I’ve never wanted for much but felt he’s always kept me in the dark about finances.
    I found out on Friday he’s been having an affair. I had a feeling something wasn’t right a few months ago as I found a few things but he denied it. I gave him ultimatum & he said he wanted to give it second go. The last few months he’s made a massive effort. He’s been so loving & I thought the closest we’ve been in years. However my trust had gone I was in denial
    ive been monitoring his behaviour constantly it’s made me so ill. I checked his Mac book & there it was messages to this woman telling her he loves her.  He finally admitted it & I asked him to go. We are now divorcing but in the immediate aftermath I’m beyond devastated. Scared now for my future & finances.
    Anybody in similar situation I would appreciate advice

    #57937 Report


    I am in a very similar situation children are 23/20 and 13, we have been together for 25 years. I am a stay at home mum and he has always dealt with financial issues.

    He left 5 weeks ago, not because of an affair (he says) just doesn’t love me anymore. Over the last 2 years he has grown more distant but I thought we could sort it.

    I am broken I can’t stop crying, i can’t sleep or eat and have no idea what to do.

    I just want him back!

    you are not alone xx

    #57946 Report


    Hello ladies

    I find myself in similar pain to you, my husband of 20 years left only a few weeks ago and says he cant see a way forward for us. he has just shut me out and ignores my pleas to talk about that’s going on and where we go next. I’m heartbroken he was my soulmate and forever. So i have not idea what my life is about right now. I has a 14 year old with my husband and I have older children with their own children that he goes a visits since he left me. He’s actions are painful and so confusing.

    I joined the group as I feel so alone, I have support of my parents but they cant make it hurt less. at times its just getting through the next hour. I know ‘it will get better with time’ but how do you move on from someone you didn’t expect to leave and that you love with every inch of your being?


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