Husband having a baby before divorcing me

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  • #58689 Report



    We are about to start mediation to begin to unravel and sort out finances and a pattern for our 7 and 4 year old, and tonight my husband has told me his girlfriend who he had an affair with whilst married to me, who as far as I was aware were not in a relationship is 4 months pregnant.

    Does anyone know how this effects mediation or how our financial agreement ends up?


    #58699 Report


    Hi navyflower, love your name!

    Gah, so sorry to read this has happened to you… must be a lot to process! Truth always comes out in the end!

    Its difficult to give advice on how it would affect finance or mediation as it can be very complex with so many factors, the gingerbread helpline would probably be best for specific advice, but from small understandings … I think this would/ could give you further grounds for a divorce in your favour as it’s clear he hasn’t treated you or the family with respect or honesty.

    In terms of mediation to see the kids… Might be worth taking a deep look at how things were & if these behaviours presented difficulties across parenting or life in general, if they did (for e.g, it’s not uncommon for people who cheat or lie repeatedly to also be emotionally abusive/ controlling or worse) – it might be worth restricting access or granting on a basis of him needing to work on these issues so it doesn’t harmfully impact the kids.

    The charity relate can offer lots of support both individually & across areas of conflict or harmful behaviour & mediate – if this helps.

    – personally know these folk can have massive positive impacts & support.

    Best of luck with it 💙

    #58702 Report


    Thank you

    super helpful!

    #58704 Report


    So no it shouldn’t effect mediation at all. We went through mediation with my partners ex wife to sort childcare arrangements for his two with her whilst I was pregnant.

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