Husband arranging visitation with our 13 yr old

[Sherry123]

Hi,

Can my husband, who i am separated from, arrange visitation with our 13 year old son and not arrange it with me ?

And do I just have to agree with this?

We have been separated over 2 years due to  his drinking and Domestic violence. I left with our children, as a last resort hoping he would sort his drinking out. We were always going back. I left to save my marriage not end it.

Up until August 2020, I thought we were still working it out. Obviously I was wrong, and he asked for a divorce, which I did not want. He has now told me he doesn’t want anything to do with me.

I recieve abusive text messages from him when he is drinking, and he tells me he doesn’t  want anything to do with me or our kids.  We have 4 children together, but 3 of them are in their 20’s. He doesn’t really support us financially either. But then he will message or phone our 13 year old and arrange with him when he sees him.

Can he do this and do I just have to agree with this ?

I hope I’m making sense.

Any advice would be great

Thank you x

[warwickshire1]

This is a tricky one, you dont have to agree with it especially as hes 13 . However he is also at that age now where hes able to make his own decisions as well especially if he is going to be 14 anytime soon.  If you went to family court it is highly likely they would ask your son if he wants to see his dad and due to his age now would take his views onboard strongly.

You are within your rights to put a stop to text you abusive messages and any texts should be about your son. However he can contact your son direct so really if you choose to, theres an option to have no contact with each other at all.

I am sure the moderators can you advise you what route to take if u dont wish for ex partner to contact yourself

[Sherry123]

Thank you for your message. My son turned 13 last Tuesday. I don’t have a problem with him contacting my son. The problem I have is when he arranges with my son when he wants to see him, he doesn’t discuss it with me, then just turns up at our home to pick him up. And I know nothing about it. ..Surely that’s not right ?

And he is sometimes drinking when my son is in his care. My son has had counselling because of his drinking and because his dad  isn’t very nice when he drinks.

There’s obviously more to this but it’s just not fair 😔 He’s still manipulating everything, everything is still on his terms 😔

 

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