hi I’m new and really struggling with life at moment. So here where I’m at … so we been separated over a year and he has been living part time with his gf for over a year the other times in family home… which of course causes great tension… usually due to his selfish behavior… so for example I work on Fridays and he said when I started work he could collect son from school or after school club .. all is okay until he decides he is busy or going away and then it’s normal left to be to get cover or finish work early ….this of course causes me great stress. So now he is moody because I did not respond to his text as I was out with kids.. when we got back first he had locked front door standing in the dark for what ever reason. And then even before I taken my shoes of he is asking me what time I’ll finish tomorrow … I said I didn’t know… (as I can’t tell until I’ve been to work and see how busy it is) before I have time to respond he barging off to ask neighbour. Well first time he taken responsibility! Next he comes back asking me how many kids are going to kids party … well as I asked him two night before about ticket and he responded he wasn’t doing it .. I did not feel like responding to his demands. He then start hurling abuse and I start shouting at him back ( which I know I shouldn’t but has pushed the buttons to far) all in front of a poor 7 year old child …he then start moaning about my solicitor…. and about how useless I am etc…in front of kid …. and slams the door so hard it shutters a pane of glass in the door… he then locks the door hurling more abuse …. he then blames me for upsetting kid 🤔….. can’t live like this much longer. Any advise trying to ignore all the drama but find it difficult… oh and apparently I’ve been selfish the last 2 weeks … erm I’m here with the kids day in day out unless I’m at work … while he has booked weekendsway with his gf …. and I’ve had to take time of work to collect kid from after school club… we had a big argument tonight .. and he obviously lost it as he managed to slam door so bad he broken the glass pane in the door 🤔I really cant live like this him walking in and out …. choosing when it’s convenient for him to look after kids or stay the night. But I can’t leave the kids with him as he has been emotionally abuse to older kid and physically pushed him and sat on him aswell as drag him by the hair when he was younger. Please advise me thanks ..
You need to work out a realistic plan for the future for all of you. You could try doing that through mediation https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-separation-and-divorce/mediation who will try to help you set it all out. Who is living where, who sees the kids when. If there is any violence whatsoever it must stop immediately. Safety first, set clear boundaries. Try to step back and take a non-emotional, practical, entirely factual approach. Talk any issues through with the mediator first, before any joint appointment. Give them all the details and they will try to help.
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