How to use CMS (and loneliness!)

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  • #52078 Report


    Hey everyone,


    very new to this so please excuse me if I’m being silly. I’ve just separated from my ex and we have a 2 & a half year old daughter. I’m really struggling to work out how to use/contact CMS and what will happen, does anyone have any advice?

    For context, he is a high earner and is refusing to pay me anything towards our daughter currently, I’m unsure how it works- does anyone have a number?

    Also.. I’m crippled by the loneliness and anxiety I’m feeling right now being a single mum. I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance that it does get better and perhaps some advice.
    thanks so much.

    #52079 Report



    CMS have a website which will give you their contact number. They will get the information from you regarding payments. The government website also has forms you can use to work out how much maintenance he should be paying, however, CMS can work this out for you. It is usually a percentage of his monthly wage but he will pay 20% more and you will receive 4% less when you go through them. I too am a single mother so please feel free to DM me if you ever need someone to talk to x

    #52089 Report


    Hi I’ve just recently contacted CMS to ask for the payments to go through them rather than me being in contact with my ex. Go on the government website and give them a call, tell them your situation. They will work it out for you. It does get better, and it is still hard at times, but you will get stronger and realise that you’ve actually got this !

    #52107 Report



    I went through the child maintenance late December due to my ex messing about with payments and lowering what he was giving me.

    I called them and went through everything about the situation. I had to pay a one off payment of £20 to open the case. I chose to have him pay the money to my account straight from his. If he misses a payment or starts messing about with payments the CMS will step in to get it from him.

    By doing it this way it avoided the 20% extra for him to pay and the 4% that I would have to pay if the CMS would take if they were to take the payment from him to give to me. There are a few different options they have so it would depend on what would work best for you.

    I also get lonely and suffer with anxiety that I never had before my ex left. I haven’t been on this site long but I have found it to be helpful as there are people on here with the similar issues and feelings.

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