How to pick yourself up

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  • #15573 Report

    Lu
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’m new to this.

    At Christmas my partner of 15 years left me & our 2 children. He had cheated on me.

    For several weeks he lied, and emotionally destroyed me by telling me how pathetic I was.

    Fast forward to now, he has set days to see the children, not always stuck to.

    After a tough 6 weeks holiday, I’ve faced the back to school situation and I guess its highlighted just how different life is to last September, everyone seems to have their stuff together and be headed somewhere and i’m here still an emotional mess.

    my question, how do I move on and pick myself up?

    my confidence in myself is pretty crap nowadays as is my self belief.

    #15575 Report

    Doc4443
    Participant

    hi there, ive been trying to focus on the girls as much as i can taking them for walks bringing in routines ive joined the gym, started a diet and feel good about myself, but once the kids go to bed on a night time from 8pm im so lonely and dont have a clue what to do with myself. i feel a burdon on family that i call them. sometimes i feel worse if me and the ex end the phone call to the kids on an arguement im a wreck, however if we end it on a good note im ok but still lonely. in the 6weeks so far ive decorated the house and given myself goals. I know my situation is very different but if u ever need someone to chat to there is plenty of people around to help u.

    #15586 Report

    Lu
    Participant

    Thankyou.

    I do go to the gym, go out dog walking etc.

    I just don’t feel that I am the mum that I was for my kids, I do everything and they are my world but its now with a broken heart and tears quite often, and I hate myself for being like that.

    Most of my friends are truly happily married and that’s hard (not that id wish the opposite on someone).

    I just feel stuck, stuck in my life, like i’m going no where.

    #15600 Report

    KH
    Participant

    Hi,

    not sure I have any answers for u, but I totally understand!! I felt like that first day back at school, looks like everyone else is happy families and I’m on my own trying my best not to cry!! (I wasn’t successful in that)

    I am just trying to take it hour by hour, day by day and trying to focus on now rather then worrying about what will happen. I’m trying anyway!!

    My ex walked out 5 weeks ago, no reason, no argument or explanation. Just left me and 6 yr old. Now he is playing super dad whilst trying to take me to court for 50% of everything, something he knows I can’t do. He even wants 50% childcare, something he has never done! Message me if u want to swap stories/chat x

    #15638 Report

    Iwanttobeme
    Participant

    Your story sounds extremly simular to mine my husband walked out after 15years marriage. Hes now with a much younger girl (most people including me think he had an affiar)

    He left pretty much without warning made lied constantly and weve found out hes still in the cycle he was which is one of the many reaons i couldnt have him back. His contact with the xhildren has been hit and miss and went through a stsge of  only have them when he wanted

    Ive loved the past 6weeks with my girls we went on hoilday alone.  But have just stsrt a new job whcih serioulsy made me lose my mojo last week im am hoenst as like you said i felt stuck dping soe thung i didnt want and i didnt no how to move forward. Ive found writing down what ive achieved without my husvand here has helped and all tbe things id love to do now the stuff he never wanted to wholst he was here.

    I can pormise you it does get better yhe thiught if being alone bow doesnt terrify me as much as i e pected at the beginning id rahter do that then be treated that way now.

    Ive found talking to my friends, my family and beleive it or nkt his has set my mind full on mode. Ive jpined an amazing gym where i achieved  things i never wholst he was here

    Its going to be ok hunny message me if you like x

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