so here we go, Ive now been divorced for 3 years, i have a shared care order in place and i’ve also been back to court for a variance, it’s been a long hard trek, and at most points it’s very apparent that the system is still one sided, so here i am looking for help, guidance and some light at the end of the tunnel. my ex wife applied for CMS, and I pay her £ 160, a month, over the last few years I’v had to keep a log of my concerns for my son while he is with his mother, this was because , i called social services and i was doing an ongoing Log about my concerns, as she wasn’t washing him, or changing his underwear etc, at some points when i picked him up from school, he immediately asked me if he could have a bath (what 7 year old does that), any way when i wen to court cafcas told me to stop wasting social services time and put my concerns down to bad parenting, anyway i won the case and my ex was found in breach of the original order and told to pay the costs, (which my solicitor has just asked me to pay for her as she hasn’t payed”BUT YOU’LL GET IT BACK”), she said, over the past couple of years i have had my son on significantly more that half the time, and he doesn’t want to be with her either, he told me she doesn’t care about me dad, but at the end of the day she is still his mother, at this current time she has actually contacted me and told me that he will be better of with me, however she is still in receipt of the CMS payments that she won’t part with I’ve looked after him since the 20th of march, she apparently is in poor health and is incapable of looking after him, It’s not about the money, which should be for my son , its the principal of the entire system.
If anyone knows of a similar case i would like to hear off you, thank you for taking the time to read this, if you want more information i will be pleased to share. or if you have any questions for me?
I know that his mothers physical health is dodgy, but there’s a big question as to her mental well-being to???
just found out today that she has been claiming for free school meals for my son, when i questioned her about the boxes of free food they were delivering to her house, she Answered , and i quote “even though i know they are for harry i ate them as it was my name on the box, not his or yours”. i can provide for my son but those food boxes could have gone to someone who really needed them??
I would start keeping a record of everything! Dates times and events. Do you know anyone else who has witnessed anything or knows her well? They can back it up.
Take pictures of anything that is relevant.
Are you on the birth certificate? If so you have parental rights.
Have you applied for contact through the courts? Have you asked citizens advice or other service?
You could contact your local Early Help team for advice too.
Would your sons school have noticed anything like turning up to school dirty, a change in his mood or attention levels?