How do you cope?

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  • #10497 Report


    Hello, I’m new here and I need some help. My partner of nearly 11 years ended things to me I didn’t see this coming at all. I was / am heart broken I feel I have lost everything. I am currently 35 weeks pregnant and due to probelem I only have a few days before I’m in hospital to be induced. I wish I could hate him but how do you hate someone that means so much to you? I worry so much how I will cope on my own, I’ve gone from being with family to being with him and never living on my own. I have money worries , worry I’ll be a rubbish mum I don’t no how I’ll be able to afford to live when I have to sell our home and move out. Life looks so scary and I wish I be strong enough to say I’ll get there but it’s very hard to see a bright life ahead right now.

    Please someone tell me things will get easier , and I’m being daft.

    #10500 Report


    Welcome to the forum, wish it was under better circumstances! I would recommend you call these people and discuss your money situation.

    Support with any parenting problem: Family Lives 9am-9pm weekdays, 10am-3pm weekends FREE helpline 0808 800 2222

    As for the moral support, you’ve got us and presumably family and friends?

    You may not have to sell the family home. Is the house in both your names? When you say your partner left, where did he go? Is he just nervous about the birth – sometimes that does happen.

    Everyone worries about being a rubbish parent and no that doesn’t get any better – you will always worry about that because everyone is making it up as they go along. You’ll make mistakes from time to time, and at others you’ll just sigh and be happy everything’s ok. But trust me on this, when you say that baby’s face you’ll know how to be a mum.

    Don’t worry about the other stuff now. Easier said than done, I know. PM me any time and keep posting.

    P.S. if you’re stuck for baby names, I think Empty is not too common and works for both boys and girls. Just saying.

    #10536 Report


    Hey Anne1985,

    You’re about to have a baby, that’s really exciting but daunting too. Hormones and anxiety will have a huge impact on your perception of how you’ll cope post delivery, no new mum should have to have the additional worry of what you’re currently going through, its poor that your partner has left you feeling this way.

    On a practical level there’s loads of help and support available, from benefits (do you usually work?), and local support network groups. Your midwife will help you access these. When the midwife leaves, the health visitors will be on hand for support. You don’t say what family support you have locally. Just work on getting the practicalities sorted such as finances, get advice prior to agreeing anything such as moving out. Claim what you are entitled to and if you feel you’re struggling then offload to someone. We all struggle at various times, it’s not a sign of weakness. I have every confidence that you’ll be a fab mum, regardless of whether your partner decides to return or not. We cope, because we have to xx

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