How do single fathers cope?
8 December 2020 at 8:40 pm #46761
guess I just need to vent tbh I’m a single father to my 4 yr old daughter, I have 2 older boys 14 and 12 who I see when I like and every other weekend they stay with me, although last few yrs have been “difficult” because of my daughters mumtgry are 100% better now she’s gone, we had been on and off since our daughter was 3 months old, her going with other “men” 1 was a childhood “friend” she admitted he liked her promised me nothing would happen and it did 🙄 left me with our daughter and her oldest who was 2 at time and spent her time getting high and drunk 6 months later she loves me wants blah blah I take her back 🤦♂️ This happened once again but with a bloke off “live.me” 🙄 long distance but she loved him…… fast forward to sept last year and again after around 18 months of us she’s back on live.me and meets a bloke in Scotland, only this time she’s gonna give up everything and move there with him, by this point her now 6 yr old is with her dad and our daughter with me 🤷🏻♂️ She changes her mind can’t be so far away from her children. Lockdown happens I’m living with my parents and my mum has to isolate due to health reasons, she begs me to move back in with her for lockdown and yep u guess it we end up in bed feelings wanting each other 🤷🏻♂️ We were happy she saw her 6 yr old weekly meaning the girls had proper sister time together. Come July though and she’s back on social media talking to a bloke as a “friend” then next thing she’s getting train to see a female friend who’s friends with him. But I suspect it’s to meet him really and well she doesn’t return living with him and his 4 yr old son who calls her mummy engaged after 2 weeks together aswell, hasn’t seen our daughter since July, Xmas approaches and now I’ve sorted my self a house with my daughter instead living with my parents she’s then asking if they ALL can stay at mine, obviously I said no but then I’m controlling and hurtful because I refuse to have her him and his son staying or even to drive for 7 hours each way and bring them down instead of them using public transport for those few days travel is allowed 🤷🏻♂️
honestly I don’t know how single mothers do it all juggling everything but I’m coping and even learning to do hair styles in her hair 😂😂😂😂😂9 December 2020 at 7:46 pm #46782
First of all well done to you for stepping up to the mark, it’s so hard being a single parent but so worth it, you’ll get there. She sounds like a waste of space to me. I hope it all works out for you.12 December 2020 at 6:23 pm #46874
Well it sounds like living in hell, But you are strong enough to defeat her evil ways. You seem to not realise you have coped, I wish i could find my strength like that, But i cant seem to get it together.1 January 2021 at 9:07 pm #47521
Well done for putting your first and being a great dad. My ex husband walked out on myself and my 6 month old daughter at the time, when she was recovering from open heart surgery in hospital. My daughter has ongoing health issue and we have a long road ahead of us but to be honest he was a waste of time, he would have messed up her head, she needs stability and someone that cares and not pretends that they do.
He sees her for about 30 mins every 5 weeks ( his choice ), never asks any questions about how she is getting on etc and shows that he has no interest.
I found it really hard at first that he could just walk away from our daughter, a very sick child at the time but I don’t let it frustrate me anymore, we are getting on with life and he just pops up as and when for 30 mins when he can be bothered.
As you can imagine my opinion of men wasn’t very high but reading your story and many others on here that my ex husband is the odd one of a kind lol
Your daughter will grow up knowing that you was there for her, she will form her own opinions as she gets older.
Take care and if you fancy a chat I would be only too pleased.
Claire6 January 2021 at 10:30 am #47662
Your story is so complicated I don’t know how you manage to keep track of all those ppl involved…I wouldn’t manage to do what you’re doing and keep a cool head.You still seem able to keep track of who’s who and what’s what when she seems to be leaving quite a trail behind her.I find it hard enough just dealing with my own kids and their dad! But asking to stay at yours does seem to be a bit rich,I doubt any1 in their right mind wld tolerate that & I had to laff at the thought of 7 mile drive…no harm in asking,rite?! you sound like youve got the hair styles sorted🙂 my dad was the best daddy in the world but hair? Nah.Good luck to you & your Princess!6 January 2021 at 10:37 pm #47705
It has been complicated but I’m past being hot headed these days no point saves the drama in the end7 January 2021 at 12:34 pm #47742
sounds like your doing great. it’s awesome that kids are living with you. many of us dads have gone through court, seeking 50/50 or custody of kids, and can not get close to it.7 January 2021 at 10:49 pm #47773
It may sound controversial to some but I know there are a lot of great fathers out there that are by far the best parent to live with for the children, just because women give birth it doesn’t automatically make them great mothers, keep up the good work !!7 January 2021 at 11:11 pm #47774
I think single father’s must be amazing bc, let’s face it- politically correct or not- women are (usually)more naturally suited for the job.Men have the strength,but women have the stamina.It takes a really loving,determined & dedicated man to bring up happy kids successfully,there’s so much that many men must have to struggle through.I often wondered how they manage & I take my hat off to you all.8 January 2021 at 12:05 pm #47798
I feel I have both the strength and stamina to be a good parent, I know not everyone is perfect and we all have our weaknesses but on the whole I’d say I cope okay, I try to nurture their strengths as they are all so different and hopefully they will succeed in life.8 January 2021 at 1:20 pm #47820
from my pov, the mother is seen as strict and the educator, while father is seen as the fun and relaxed one. i think those are important dynamics, which is why kids need both parents in their lives. it is very hard work as single dads to look after kids on their own, especially if we have been a full-time worker all our lives. it’s the unexpected events that catch me off guard. like kids peeing them self or throwing up lol.8 January 2021 at 1:24 pm #47821
You sound like you have it all so together.Did that take time or are you just a natural/unatural/unnaturally natural?8 January 2021 at 1:25 pm #47822
Sorry,meant that question to Robbent.8 January 2021 at 1:40 pm #47824
I’ve always been a family man but I have learnt as I go along. I married at 17 so I have had a few years practice under my belt