How do single fathers cope?

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Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
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  • #46761 Report

    Fatherofaprincess
    Participant

    guess I just need to vent tbh I’m a single father to my 4 yr old daughter, I have 2 older boys 14 and 12 who I see when I like and every other weekend they stay with me, although last few yrs have been “difficult” because of my daughters mumtgry are 100% better now she’s gone, we had been on and off since our daughter was 3 months old, her going with other “men” 1 was a childhood “friend” she admitted he liked her promised me nothing would happen and it did 🙄 left me with our daughter and her oldest who was 2 at time and spent her time getting high and drunk 6 months later she loves me wants blah blah I take her back 🤦‍♂️ This happened once again but with a bloke off “live.me” 🙄 long distance but she loved him…… fast forward to sept last year and again after around 18 months of us she’s back on live.me and meets a bloke in Scotland, only this time she’s gonna give up everything and move there with him, by this point her now 6 yr old is with her dad and our daughter with me 🤷🏻‍♂️ She changes her mind can’t be so far away from her children. Lockdown happens I’m living with my parents and my mum has to isolate due to health reasons, she begs me to move back in with her for lockdown and yep u guess it we end up in bed feelings wanting each other 🤷🏻‍♂️ We were happy she saw her 6 yr old weekly meaning the girls had proper sister time together. Come July though and she’s back on social media talking to a bloke as a “friend” then next thing she’s getting train to see a female friend who’s friends with him. But I suspect it’s to meet him really and well she doesn’t return living with him and his 4 yr old son who calls her mummy engaged after 2 weeks together aswell, hasn’t seen our daughter since July, Xmas approaches and now I’ve sorted my self a house with my daughter instead living with my parents she’s then asking if they ALL can stay at mine, obviously I said no but then I’m controlling and hurtful because I refuse to have her him and his son staying or even to drive for 7 hours each way and bring them down instead of them using public transport for those few days travel is allowed 🤷🏻‍♂️

    honestly I don’t know how single mothers do it all juggling everything but I’m coping and even learning to do hair styles in her hair 😂😂😂😂😂

    #46782 Report

    Lilly123
    Participant

    First of all well done to you for stepping up to the mark, it’s so hard being a single parent but so worth it, you’ll get there. She sounds like a waste of space to me. I hope it all works out for you.

    #46874 Report

    oliverdavid
    Participant

    HI

    Well it sounds like living in hell, But you are strong enough to defeat her evil ways. You seem to not realise you have coped, I wish i could find my strength like that, But i cant seem to get it together.

    #47521 Report

    Twinkle toes13
    Participant

    Well done for putting your first and being a great dad. My ex husband walked out on myself and my 6 month old daughter at the time, when she was recovering from open heart surgery in hospital.  My daughter has ongoing health issue and we have a long road ahead of us but to be honest he was a waste of time, he would have messed up her head, she needs stability and someone that cares and not pretends that they do.

    He sees her for about 30 mins every 5 weeks ( his choice ), never asks any questions about how she is getting on etc and shows that he has no interest.

    I found it really hard at first that he could just walk away from our daughter, a very sick child at the time but I don’t let it frustrate me anymore, we are getting on with life and he just pops up as and when for 30 mins when he can be bothered.

    As you can imagine my opinion of men wasn’t very high but reading your story and many others on here that my ex husband is the odd one of a kind lol

    Your daughter will grow up knowing that you was there for her, she will form her own opinions as she gets older.

    Take care and if you fancy a chat I would be only too pleased.

    Claire

    #47662 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    Your story is so complicated I don’t know how you manage to keep track of all those ppl involved…I wouldn’t manage to do what you’re doing and keep a cool head.You still seem able to keep track of who’s who and what’s what when she seems to be leaving quite a trail behind her.I find it hard enough just dealing with my own kids and their dad! But asking to stay at yours does seem to be a bit rich,I doubt any1 in their right mind wld tolerate that & I had to laff at the thought of 7 mile drive…no harm in asking,rite?! you sound like youve got the hair styles sorted🙂 my dad was the best daddy in the world but hair? Nah.Good luck to you & your Princess!

    #47705 Report

    Fatherofaprincess
    Participant

    It has been complicated but I’m past being hot headed these days no point saves the drama in the end

    #47742 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

     

    sounds like your doing great. it’s awesome that kids are living with you. many of  us dads have gone through court, seeking 50/50 or custody of kids, and can not get close to it.

    #47773 Report

    robbent
    Participant

    It may sound controversial to some but I know there are a lot of great fathers out there that are by far the best parent to live with for the children, just because women give birth it doesn’t automatically make them great mothers, keep up the good work !!

    #47774 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    I think single father’s must be amazing bc, let’s face it- politically correct or not- women are (usually)more naturally suited for the job.Men have the strength,but women have the stamina.It takes a really loving,determined & dedicated man to bring up happy kids successfully,there’s so much that many men must have to struggle through.I often wondered how they manage & I take my hat off to you all.

    #47798 Report

    robbent
    Participant

    I feel I have both the strength and stamina to be a good parent, I know not everyone is perfect and we all have our weaknesses but on the whole I’d say I cope okay, I try to nurture their strengths as they are all so different and hopefully they will succeed in life.

    #47820 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    from my pov, the mother is seen as strict and the educator, while father is seen as the fun and relaxed one. i think those are important dynamics, which is why kids need both parents in their lives. it is very hard work as single dads to look after kids on their own, especially if we have been a full-time worker all our lives. it’s the unexpected events that catch me off guard. like kids peeing them self or throwing up lol.

    #47821 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    You sound like you have it all so together.Did that take time or are you just a natural/unatural/unnaturally natural?

    #47822 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    Sorry,meant that question to Robbent.

    #47824 Report

    robbent
    Participant

    I’ve always been a family man but I have learnt as I go along. I married at 17 so I have had a few years practice under my belt

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)

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