How do I say it?

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  • #53986 Report


    When my husband left me, he said he would see the children every day but that soon changed,  which suited me. But I recently had an operation and was out of action for a couple of weeks. In this time, my older daughter was amazing.  Helping with the chores and looking after her little sisters.  But she was frustrated that her dad hadn’t offered her support and she told him. Since then he has been coming most week nights. Not so much weekends as he spends them with his new girlfriend.  I always said I would never stop him seeing the children. But I hate him popping round.  He never stays more than 20 minutes, and asks them the same generic things ( how was school, what was dinner, are you ok?) But how to I approach the subject and suggest they visit him once or twice a week for an hour or two. Then they might get some quality time and not just ticking a box in his conscience. I don’t want to fall out with him as he and his new girlfriend live near by and it’s a small community.  I just want to do what’s best for the kids without having to see him Monday to Friday.

    #53989 Report


    Hey, so you could say pretty much what you said in your post … just tweak it a bit. Something along the lines of:

    thanks for being so great and being around for the kids after the operation. I know they’ve really enjoyed seeing more of you. How would you feel about having them for a couple of hours a few days a week from now on? Maybe just after school until tea time? Or we can figure out something that works for everyone? I just think it would be really good to give you the opportunity to spend time together without me in the mix so you can build your own relationship …

    Good luck

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