How do I deal with upset caused by my ex husband?

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  • #61645 Report

    Kate1979
    Participant

    My ex husband is regularly calling me names and saying negative things about me to my son when my son stays at his house, I know this because my son tells me.

    He also promises to take my son to places when he is with me and when I am unable to change my plans then he tells my son that I won’t let him go.

    It is really affecting my son and I don’t know what to do. It’s screwing my son up. I am desperately trying to be fair and I do not bad mouth my ex but it has got to the stage where I have to say that some things he dad does are not nice.

    any advice is really welcome x

    #61785 Report

    GingerbreadHelen
    Keymaster

    Hi Kate, I’m one of the moderators on the forum and noticed that you have not had a reply to your post. I’ve moved your post up the list, so hopefully you will make contact with other parents soon.

    #61791 Report

    KiwiMom243
    Participant

    I’m so sorry you and your son are going through this. You don’t say how old your son is so it’s difficult to know what to suggest, but this is unacceptable behaviour from your ex.  Have you tried discussing it with him? It sounds as if he needs to be made aware of how much this is upsetting his son.  Sadly some people can be very manipulative and will  use their kids as weapons to proverbially batter their ex partners with. All too often they don’t realise just how damaging this is to the children until someone points it out to them. I hope you are able to get things sorted, sorry I can’t offer much advice apart from that but I hope I’ve given you some support if nothing else🙂

    #61794 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    Sorry to hear this. Probably not very good advice but would a letter or email semt to your ex help? Could you speak to him face-to-face without your son present?

    #61795 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    Try and do something nice with your son just you and him. Yes I agree it’s very hard not to say negative things in front of your child/children. I haven’t seen my kids since April. Biting my tongue will be very hard/impossible when I finally see them again. There doesn’t appear to be an easy solution. I guess you just have to speak to your ex and tell him how you feel.

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