How do i cope with the death of our rock?

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  • #25560 Report


    Struggling to understand if life has a meaning.

    My name is Wade and i have a 5 year old son Hunter. This year has been devastating for us, In march, we lost our soulmate, our best friend, the glue that holds our small family apart. On the 3.3.19 we lost Rachel ******, mother to hunter, 10 year partner to myself, to a asthma attack.
    Rachel was only 25 years old. We meet when she was 16, i was 18, and what came was blissful. never did i expect our little family to be torn apart.

    My son hunter attends school, is in his prep year and now, has no mother to guide him. I have taken extended leave from work but after 11 weeks i have exhausted my leave and must return, this week was my first week back, hunter, being only 5 has been able to take it fairly well. Me on the other hand, losing my partner in crime, my everything, is a hard pill to swallow.

    Rachel was a king soul, loved everyone and gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, never spoke down to anyone and would give the cloths off her back if it was required.  Its true that the good die young? My life has been turned on its head, but life go’s on right? im finding it hard to have any motivation to do anything for myself, i see hunter as a piece of her i can still cherish and spend all my time spoiling him, but he is missing the effection which rachel provided on a motherly love level.

    I am turning 30 this year,  my whole 20’s i had someone to pick up the pieces of my already chaotic life, someone to confide in, someone to rest with and cuddle at night To have that taken away from me by asthma is an experience i wish no one else would ever have to go threw, but unfortunately i know that will not the case.

    How do i continue? the sheer fact that Hunters life will be altered forever from this event scares me as the sole caregiver, now my direct actions will mold his future. Has anyone got advice as to where i can keep myself clear minded, in a time where i feel the world has robbed us, i don’t see anything how i used to, money doesn’t seem to even register and can easily waste thousands of dollars a week without any remorse, with my saving dwindling fast, i need an out, i need to see life not as a tangible existence, more so an actual reality.

    please,any advise will help

    #25561 Report


    I am extremely sorry to hear of your loss.  No words can be enough to help.

    I will say though that the way you describe her sounds amazing and you should hold on to and preserve that memory of Rachel.

    You’ve come to the right place though, this forum is really supportive.

    #25563 Report

    Hi Wade

    I have sent you a personal message with some signposting for you.


    #25645 Report


    I don’t think I can offer any advice on coping with the untimely death of a loved on. That is a loss that will always stay with you and your boy who has lost his mum. But hoping that with time the raging pain in your heart and bones will settle into a dull ache that allows you to see the goodness still left for you and your boy in this world. You will both find things or people who can give you some comfort and the most important thing is that you have each other. Rachel would rest in peace knowing that your boy has a wonderful father looking after him and you have him, giving you hope in these times of despair. Please do look after yourself in any way you can, take small steps and don’t be hard on yourself. Time is the biggest healer.

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