Hoping someone can relate?

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    Hi just recently joined and hoping there are others out there in a similar situation.

    I am a single mum of 6 kids aged 19,16, 9,8,6 and 5. I have been separated from my ex husband for 5 years and we were together for 16 years. It was a very toxic relationship and there’s was alot of verbal and emotional abuse but I have always made sure that the children have a relationship with him.

    My eldest daughter has left home so I have 5 at home. The first couple of years I went through a bit of a midlife crisis and felt like a bird that had been let out of a cage, nights out, weekend in ibiza, basically being selfish and enjoying every bit of time when the kids were at their dads. I got that all out my system and was ready to crack on being a single mum.

    Over the last couple of years, alot has happened within my family and my support network has weakened. My mum is getting on and finds the kids too much, my sister has just started chemo for breast cancer and their dad has moved away after a breakup with his current partner. The kids are getting harder work. My 16 year old suffers with mental health (due to her father) and spends alot of time shut away in her room or she is verbally abusive to her siblings and can’t tolerate them at all. My youngest is 5 and is soiling himself daily which I can’t get to the bottom of and on top of that I work part time in a hospital and am struggling to find childcare when I’m working as I have to do shifts.

    I have always had to force my ex to have his children and him moving 2.5 hrs away has made this harder work.

    At the moment I am just feeling very overwhelmed with it all and can’t see things improving, I also have alot of guilt for feeling like this and seeing my children as a chore rather than a pleasure.

    I miss being a family, not that I ever had it as my ex was constantly in the pub. But this is a 2 man job and I’m finding it hard.

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