Honest opinion please

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  • #57498 Report

    jasonmartin87
    Participant

    Hi, my little girl is nearly 1 and her dad sees her for two hours every Saturday. Long story short, her dad was not supportive during pregnancy, didn’t want me to continue with the pregnancy, demanded to be at the birth and then threatened to take ‘full custody’ of our little girl. I feel he was going through a bit of a low point at this time hence being so unsupportive and rude to me but I feel very strongly about her having her dad in her life. My little girl is exclusively breastfed as I haven’t been able to express and also she shows little interest in food. My ex partner took me to mediation ‘for overnight access straightaway’ when our daughter was 6 months old and we agreed on a timeline as I made it very clear on the call about our daughters feeding and I think he begun to understand. We originally agreed that he would come to mine for two hours every Saturday and that when our little girl turned one he would take her out for a few hours and see her after work on a Monday. When my daughter turned 9 months her feeding became less frequent so I said it would be ideal for him to take her for the two hours and see how that goes rather than him having to come to mine and that way he could spend time 1 on 1 with her… he never has spent time 1 on 1 and is either with family or friends. Now she is closer to turning 1 he has now contacted to say he doesn’t think the Monday’s will be beneficial and can he just take her for full days on a Saturday. I have said that is fine and if we can start on four hours and increase it each week to see how it goes as at that time she will be transitioning to cows milk. Do you think that this seems ok for him to have her full days from only seeing her two hours a week at present? He doesn’t know anything about her as doesn’t communicate with me at all other than picking her up and dropping her off? And do you think it’s ok to deviate from a mediation plan which cost me a ridiculous amount when what he’s now asking for is what I said all along?

    #57896 Report

    Sarah
    Participant

    Do you trust him? That’s the only thing that matters.

    #57916 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    if you think he can handle having child for full days, can give it a try. if he has family support, they can help him out if he struggles.

    #57918 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    I would let him take her for half a day. E.g. 9am to 1pm. It seems a bit jump from current to full day. Get it in writing. A parenting agreement and make sure it’s enforceable in law. A verbal agreement could be worth nothing. You also need a dietary sheet.

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