Home education

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  • This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks ago by Anonymous.
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  • #62951 Report

    amyindia2016
    Participant

    Hey all!

    I am co parenting with a man who’s the worst human in the history of forever. We have a 4 year old son together. Dad is controlling, coercive and gaslights me. He’s not allowed around to the property anymore and not allowed to contact me.

    we have a court order in place which states our son lives with me and dad has visitation 5-7 tue and Thursday and one day at the weekend.

    Dad has parental responsibility but uses this as a form of control. He just recently changed our sons doctors without so much as telling me, which means our son now goes to a completely different doctor to the one his sisters and I go to.

    Now dads onto the topic of school. He’s adamant he wants him in school. My girls are home educated, they visit forest school once a week and home ed gymnastics along with work shops. I should also mention our son is being assessed for ASD. I’ve told dad I want our son to be home educated with his sisters and he’s threatening court.

    he’s not sent a letter for mediation but due to domestic abuse I’m afraid of him and scared to go.

    Would everyone suggest I fight my corner on this? I feel so sad.

    #62952 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    I don’t know for sure but he cannot change the doctor without your permission.

    Get yourself a McKenzie Friend.

    Mediation was being done remotely and can be ‘shuttle’ mediation – different rooms etc.

    You sound fantastic- home-schooling  forest schools etc. Don’t stop, keep it up!

    If he’s subject to a court order etc I’m sure you can take it back to court. I think you would have a strong case to say you want your son educated in the same way as the others.

    #62953 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    I submitted a C79 form as she had changed my daughter’s school without my permission.

    Also you are the resident parent.

    #62980 Report

    Anonymous
    Inactive

    You are not required to go into mediation with him if there is domestic abuse.

    Although as previous poster said, you can request not to be in the same room as them.

    Be aware though, mediation for such people is an opportunity to further exert control, and they wll make full use of it.

    Your home edding sounds like a brilliant and healthy set up.

    I did it during lock downs and DD did really well in G.C.S.Es

    I’m sure you have gathered evidence already.

     

    Re the contact difficulties – court is sometimes useful but really it is the dysfunctional behavioural stuff which I found worst to navigate i.e .not turning up, not being consistent.

    Also perhaps check out the Survivors Forum women’s aid.

    Basically also document his not turning up.

    Frame it to your kids in terms of making an alternative plan in case he doesn’t turn up.

    If you don’t tell them he is coming and he doesn’t turn up, just go out with them and do something nice.

    I know this is easier said than done, but if it comes to Court later and he tries to coerce you, then you can be honest and tell them he is an inconsistent and father.

     

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