Holiday childcare

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Kathymumofone 1 week, 1 day ago.

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  • #27481 Report

    Mumof1andpup
    Participant

    I split with my daughter’s dad 4 1/2 years ago and we have had an up/down parenting relationship since then. He pays maintenance but stopped 8 weeks ago and now says he can’t afford it, although his circumstances have not changed. He  sees our daughter after school 1 day for a few hours and one day each weekend. Sleepovers happen at my request irregularly.  The lack of payment has not changed this.

    Each school holiday we end up arguing over childcare arrangements. He wants to see our daughter no more than his usual day and a half each week, stating he has to work. We are both self employed – and I also cannot financially take more than around 15 days leave over the school summer holidays. Historically my mum has helped but she is unwell at present and I cannot impose.

    How do other single working parents manage childcare over the 6 weeks holidays? I came up with a plan splitting childcare 60/40 (me/him) over summer but he has said no.   I’m not sure what else to do! I appreciate he does more than some but what is fair and reasonable to expect?? Which solutions work for other people? For info, as she has never spent more than 2 days on the trot with him I am reluctant to have a week me / week him arrangement – even if he were to agree. Can anyone offer advice? We do not have a court order regarding visitation.  Thank u 😊

    #27485 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    My ex has our son about 35 nights a year, never during the week unless he takes son  away on holiday.

    So our summer will be week 1 away on holiday with me. Weeks 2-5 son at holiday club, with me doing all pickups & drop-offs, week 6 son away on holiday with ex IF he remembers to book, and doesn’t change his mind.

    So I organise it, I am the emergency contact and backup, I send my ex a bill for 50% of the fees.  At least if I book things, I am sure they are done.  Ds loves holiday club thank goodness.😊

    #27508 Report

    Mumof1andpup
    Participant

    Thanks for posting.  It’s nice to hear that it’s not just me with this issue! Sounds like its not ideal for you either. Holiday clubs are helpful I agree – it’s just the feeling of ‘unfairness’ I’m struggling with – that little one wants 2 spend time with him, and  he wants all the privileges but none of the graft!

    #27511 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Yes, my ex’s idea of parenting is to collect a freshly ironed child, take him to lunch, return him and then leave before things like homework need doing.

    I could waste time feeling angry or just get on with it, and not let it turn me grey. 😊.  My son is older now and has spotted that his dad is “pretty hopeless” – his own words. Children aren’t blind. Yours will love you for all the unconditional effort you put in.

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