Hobbies and child maintenance

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  • #40045 Report


    Hi everyone Im new to this forum. I’m asking for some advice. My partners ex is preventing him and us from getting involved in his daughters hobbies unless we pay for half of them. He pays maintenance every month, she stays with us one to two nights per week and every other weekend. We provide all her clothes while she is with us etc. He contributes to her school dinners and swimming lessons on top of maintenance but we do not have as much disposable income as his ex she warns more than we do. She arranged for her to do extra curricular activities without asking us first if we can afford to contribute, then demands we pay half and if we can’t we aren’t allowed to be involved. This obviously upsets his daughter and alienates him as a parent just because we can’t afford it. Does anyone have any experience with this?

    #40050 Report


    Ive not had personal experience with this kind of situation but you’re ex is not obliged to pay anything above child maintenance. Of course if he’s chipping in a bit extra thats great but no it doesn’t state anywhere that he must pay half of the extra curricular activities. It sounds like your partner and his ex really need to sit down and rehash their parenting plan and perhaps working with a mediator would really help the two of them to do this. I dont know what their custody agreement is so cant comment on his involvement in the activities. But again maybe mediation would help them focus on the best interest of the child rather than bickering over finances. Its always a difficult situation when exs with children clash but hopefully things will be resolved soon. You can always contact the gingerbread helpline, citizens advice or a solicitor for further more informed advice. Hope this helps and stay safe

    #40059 Report


    Agree with Bunny, your partner & his ex need to have a frank discussion about what each can cover.
    If the ex can pay for an extra activity – say, a dance class on a weekday evening, but your dp can’t afford to contribute, he doesn’t have to., I’d just leave her to get on with it.


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