Hi, this is a great forum and I wanted to share my experiences in the hopes that it gives me some catharthis and helps me organise my thoughts a little.
I’m a dad of 2 boys (3 and 7), married 15 years and she told me she was leaving 4 months ago after i found out that she was on dating sites and actually seeing people while I was looking after the children. My world rocked, I lost 10kg but fought through for my boys over the months and, touch wood, they seem to be back to their happy selves and I’m (outwardly) looking after myself better.
In some ways it’s been great, I have a well paid job and, where my marriage was quite controlled, I now have the freedom to build the life I want (relatively) without being criticised. But, there is a recurring issue.
I moved to Scotland with her, left my family and friends in England and developed new friends up here, however, they are mostly her friends (there was a control issue over my friends and i had to chose her or them a while back, the ‘approved’ ones were mostly foreign and moved home over the years).
A great trip home to see friends and family made me realise how isolated I am up here and how I don’t actually like being here, my father and family is getting old and I’m a soft southerner 🙂
I refuse to be a dad who leaves their children but they are settled up here and still have a very long time to go until they are grown. I’m 46 and am looking at at least 15 years of living here, potentially unhappy and feel that activities I do up here are distractions until I can live for myself. This is a tough realisation.
So I guess I wanted to ask if anyone else on here had experienced a similar issue and could share their story, offer advice or otherwise weigh in.