Hi im new here and need some support

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  • #28492 Report

    Dwyer
    Participant

    My 4yr old says he wants a new mummy and a new house and wants me to arrange it. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

    He says he just wants to visit me. And the birthday card he made me was really a good bye card coz hes going in a few days and hes really going to miss me.

    He said this in all seriousness and even tears in his eyes about a goodbye card. Such emotion. Such meaning. So deep.

    And yet 5 mins ago he was watching massive monster mayhem without a second thought. Sigh.๐Ÿ˜’ his words cut like a knife.

    Im almost thinking it might be a good idea if he hates me so much.

    Its just me and him no one else. None stop never a break. Hes very intelligent and demanding and i hate to say it but he never stops talking. Im quiet by nature.

    I was diagnosed with PND when he was xmonths old and we spent time apart. It seems im always making up for it. From clingyness to attention seeking. Fell out and moved away from family.

    Now im alone and basically treading water all the time. I have PMT half the month. The tennency isnt going to be renewed this year. Im basically looking at homelessness/temp council accom in few months and job centre are pilling on the pressure even though ive no idea where the temp accom is going to be or for how long.

    How far can you stretch a piece of elastic before it breaks

    ๐Ÿ˜ž

    Sorry, ive just got no one

    #28494 Report

    Beautybev
    Participant

    Hi

    Firstly I would like to reach out and give you a virtual hug. Us single mums are tougher than we think ๐Ÿ˜‰ true your sons words are hard to swallow. Bless him. He is obviously seeing you struggle and well maybe in his little head he blames himself a little for you being upset. Kids do sense when we are troubled. But we try and protect them. I used to do this. But now I find myself being open and honest to a certain degree. Kids need to feel safe and loved. You’ve probably been a little distant (understandably) and that needy behaviour is his way of getting attention.ย  Sit him down and in simple terms tell him how you are feeling but at the same time reassure him you love him and no matter what happens you will always be there. Try get out to some play sessions if he’s not at school yet. Go see your gp aswell ๐Ÿ˜

    But most of all keep smiling and keep being a mummy โค

    Bev x

    #28501 Report

    Dwyer
    Participant

    Hi thanks for the reply and hugs. I think a lot of what you said is bang on. I will have a talk to him too its a long time coming i think.

    #28515 Report

    Sue
    Moderator

    Hi Dwyer,

    Thanks for posting here, it sounds like youโ€™re having a really difficult time at the moment.

    If you’re threatened with homelessness you can get free specialist housing advice and support from Shelter:ย https://england.shelter.org.uk/get_help.

    Family Lives is a charity which offers free and confidential support for parents in difficult situations: https://www.familylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/ . You might find it useful to speak to them about how to approach your son.

    You can also contact our free Gingerbread helpline on 0808 802 0925 and speak to one of our advisers about benefits and about what JobcentrePlus can ask you to do if you are homeless.

    Best wishes,

     

    Sue

     

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