Hes a fantastic father but hes been seeing escorts

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  • #49566 Report

    Eb72
    Participant

    Hi, I am new on here and still in the early stages of deciding what to do. A few weeks ago i found an escorts telephone number in my husbands phonebook, when I confronted him he claimed it was from years ago (when he was previously caught going to massage parlours). I am struggling to believe him given the trust has been broken previously. I have two young children 1 and 4.. I am due to go back to work next month.. He does not want to seperate but has agreed that if we do seperate, then we can have shared custody. However i do not wish to remain living in this town as i am around 50miles away from my family. I have agreed to move half way, with the hope that the children will go to school in the same town as me, however he wishes for me and the children to stay in his town, despite me not having a network nearby. He has threatened to “play dirty” should i decide to leave town i.e. try to get the children and funds of the house from me.  His parents are very wealthy and his mother despises me and would relish the oportunity to see me suffer. I am fearful and confused about what my options are and whats the best course of action. Any advice would be great.

    #49576 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    from the situation of the children, I think it’s better if they are within reasonable distance of the dad. then at least he can help you out if you struggle and have to juggle work and child care.

    #49581 Report

    Eb72
    Participant

    Hi @steve3334 thank you for your response. From a legal point of view, (and practical i suppose) what would be deemed ‘a reasonable distance’? My eldest child is due to start school in September so I am determined to make the right decision before then.

    #49594 Report

    warwickshire1
    Participant

    I would say moving halfway is more than reasonable on your behalf. Infact that is very nice of you and child focused. Your kids dad is in the wrong and from what you said has done this before. moving 25 miles rather than 50 would ensure that it wouldnt affect his midweek contact in the future and contact can go ahead as normal. Also been halfway enables you to see your parents so seems very practical.

    Lers hope your ex is reasonable as the more problems he creates for you the more chance you will be moving 50 miles away instead of 25.

    #49697 Report

    Eb72
    Participant

    Thank you @Warwickshire1 he said 25miles is too far and that the children should go to school/nursery in his town. If we cannot come to an agreement what would be the likely outcome?

    Does anybody have experience of 5050 custody, where the kids rotate every 2-3 days which allows us to alternate weekends (and are 25miles (30mins) travel one way).

    #49700 Report

    warwickshire1
    Participant

    I would if you dont see yourself getting back with your ex move halfway as unreasonable to expect you to stay in same town. He is not missing out on any contact as you arent stopping it.   Family courts wouldnt really go for 2-3 day rotation as too much to and thro. If u done 50-50 properly this would also effect any benefits you may get and child maintenance.  Most dads have around 10/12 nights every 28 days  and half of holidays and special days shared.

    Ones that do have 50-50 completely down middle where there is no child maintenance are cases where sorted out with no court appearances or by consent once in family court.

    #49731 Report

    EmJay
    Participant

    He isnt fantastic and you owe him zero! Dont be bullied. If he cares about the kids and their support he will move if you do. Rather he has kept you apart from your support system and your children’s grandparents. Ignore his demands you decide what is best for you and your children. He opted out not you and there are consequences. Move back to where your support is. O did this after three years o wish I had done it on day one my son and daughter flourished when his blowing hot and cold crap ended. Financially you will be ok if you get a decent solicitor  never take advice on the law from your abuser. Emotional abuse us abuse.

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