Help with the birth certificate and parental responsibility agreement

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  • #59938 Report

    Elliapplebyy
    Participant

    Hiya me and my child’s farther have been apart since I was about 20 weeks pregnant and now I have a 7 week old, during my pregnancy he didn’t support me and even got a new girlfriend who is now pregnant, he would call me nasty names and tell me multiple things such as

    • he won’t pay CSA unless the baby has his second name
    • he won’t pay CSA until I do a DNA test to prove the baby’s he’s even though he said he know he his
    • that if he give me money it won’t go on the baby

    he has still not contributed any money

    now my baby is 7 weeks and in total has only seen him 3 time with a total of under 5 hours all together.

    my baby is due to be registered in 8 days and I don’t know what to do with the birth certificate as he’s broken my trust and proven he can be trusted for some of the following reasons

    • He turned up to the hospital drunk after me telling him he couldn’t be there because COVID I was only aloud 1 person and I wanted someone who could support me.
    • since the birth I have said I don’t want photos of the baby on social media and he has disregarded my wishes 3 times after being asked not to.
    • im breast feeding and because he wants to take the baby out for the day he told me that he would just put him on formula.
    • he wants to take the baby 3 hours away to his parents house but says I can’t comes as we’re not together.
    • he want my 7 week old baby to meet his girlfriend and the baby when it’s born.

    Because I’m unsure weather to put him on the birth certificate I have asked him to show he’s committed and wants to be an active part in his life and he has just said that if I don’t put him on it he will take me to court. And can’t just show me he’s committed because I can always put someone on the birth certificate but it’s hard to take them off.

    My other issue is that if he’s on the birth certificate he will have control and a say in the following.

    • in any medical decision
    • in where the child goes to school
    • in their feeding and clothing

    and much more. I just don’t things it’s fair for him to have them right when he’s only met him 3 times and can’t even hold him!

    but from what I’ve read if it does go to court the only way the won’t put him on the birth certificate is if there’s domestic violence in the relationship in which there wasn’t so they would grant it.

    I have spoke with citizens advice and I said to look into a parental responsibility agreement and declaration of percentage agreement can I have any advice on what would be the best route and your experiences in the past please.

    #59977 Report

    Lulublue
    Participant

    There is a very similar post just above yours on the forum called “Birth Certificate”

    reading through this may help also there is some information on the .gov website.
    You don’t have to put him on the birth certificate and in my opinion I wouldn’t. He can apply to be added if he wants to be.
    x

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