Help with finances as ex husband pays next to nothing

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  • #9613 Report


    hi can anyone help with my situation? I am now to Gingerbread I found it by googling help with finances for single parents!! I am in a situation where I have been separated from my ex husband for 2 years and almost 5 months! I am still trying to get divorced from him and can’t apply for the decree nisi even though I would love to be finally divorced because I am trying to get a financial settlement still which I don’t think I will ever get as he just doesn’t reply to my solicitors letters about it , then his solicitor claims they haven’t received letters the excuses are endless! anyway my solicitor is costing me a fortune £645 last month for being on the phone to me for 1 hour plus writing a few emails! I am so in the wrong job! I just haven’t the finances to pay for her and as a single mum of 2 young boys who only works part time and gets pitance from their ex husband to support the boys feel I must be entitled to legal aid surely? Does anyone know what the criteria is? I do work part time but I don’t earn a huge amout and I am receiving child tax credits? Help please! Financially stretched stressed out single mum!

    #9623 Report


    Several links that should help you out – definitely try Family Lives first as they are really good and might even have better places for you to try:

    Support with any parenting problem: Family Lives 9am-9pm weekdays, 10am-3pm weekends FREE helpline 0808 800 2222

    Can you get legal aid?

    Publicly funded legal advice and/or representation:

    Advice re: arrangements for children, mediation, going to court

    Separation disputes:

    Going to court without a lawyer: Personal Support Unit

    Representing yourself in court:

    Publicly funded mediation:

    I have learned solicitors really aren’t very helpful when it comes to Family Law, seeing as there a great deal of Law involved. You can read up most of it in a week, or less if you are only researching a specific problem.

    If I can help further, let me know. All the best.

    #9665 Report


    thankyou for all these links much appreciated 🙂

    #9759 Report


    Your money eaten up by the greedy lawyers. I worked part time but did not get legal aid

    My husband faired better in the divorce and was able to hide his money . I am financially worse off as there is a debt of 32 k that needs to be paid to him when my daughter turns 5 years old. sympathetic at first but then the phone calls,  emails and letters all add up

    <span style=”font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5;”>Your Husband is playing games. I started divorce proceedings to threaten him then stopped  but  for 10 years he was being nagged by his free loader bar maid old woman girlfriend to divorce me which he has &  commit to the old tart which he won’t </span>

    If you are not goingto.remarry don’t divorce as might drop dead then you will be free. My ex husband leads such a nasty life style with drugs I thought he would drop down dead but he didn’t.

    #9763 Report


    Hi Gongerbreadman,

    Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you can’t get legal did for divorce.

    I’m still crying about the money I’ve paid out for my divorce, children and financial hearings.


    #9778 Report


    The divorce is just a bit of paper . I was separated for 10 years until my husband woman got greedy thinking he would marry her because he has a good job and started divorce proceedings

    If I don’t give my ex 32k from my pension my ex can force me to sell to gethis money . Kids or no kids the law is sympathetic to men now . You will not get legal aid because I didn’t.  Getting married was an expensive mistake but at least I’m not living with a druggie who flies all over the world for a fabulous job but shops on pound land

    #9780 Report


    Just for balance – I think you’ll find plenty of men who can say through experience the law is not usually sympathetic to men in family issues! The truth is, the law should be balanced for both parents based on the same criteria, and not biased in any way. Sadly, it isn’t yet that.

    Gingerbread Man – if you’re financially stretched don’t spend your hard-earned money on solicitors. Never forget that solicitors earn more the longer a case is dragged out. There is no motive for them to resolve your problems quickly. You know when you hear firms saying “no win, no fee”? Well, they don’t take on ambiguous cases – they only take on cases where they know you will win. Which means with or without them you would win anyway. Except if you win with them, they might get you 10% more in damages, but they cream off 50% as their fee.

    Anyone who isn’t a solicitor is in the wrong job.

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