Help toxic ex

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  • #36394 Report

    Chellbrow
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    I have had a really tough time since I threw out a cheating spouse. I have two children with this man. Its two years end of march that I asked him to leave. He has been vile ever since, and baring in mind we have a 7 year old son, and a 9 year old daughter. He put me in a police cell three times rather than talk to me and I now have a harrasment charge. I do not understand how a man I fathered two children with could do this to me the woman who gave him two children. He has now not seen our children in over a year, due to him deciding to take me through the family courts and it hasn’t gone in his favour, due to chequered past I knew nothing about, is at present making him a safeguarding risk. I am mean’t to go to the family courts and sit in a court room with him again on Friday and I am terrified and feel sick even thinking about being sat in the room with a man that put me in police custody for trying to talk. I do not agree with harrasment laws, until my children are 18 they are also his responsibiltity. You would not of thought that, as I had to move out of my marital home last year, as he failed to pay the mortgage, which was an agreement we made that if I stayed in the house he would continue to pay that instead of paying me money for the children. Yet no he decided a foreign holiday with the woman he cheated with, was more important that paying for the roof over his childrens head. The messages I sent him, where out of desperation, not asking him to come back, yet things I needed for the children, and even had a leak in our marital home, I message him, and rather than help. He gets me arrested instead. I do not have no clue what has happened to this man that I spent 9 years of my life with, as he was not this horrid human he has turned into.  My friends think he is jealous of my new life, as I moved to a new home, although rented its in nicer area than we lived, I did date another man for a year, although that has now ended, and I found a new job and have reconnected with old friends and found new interests. Why do ex’s have to behave like this. When I discovered he was up to no good, with someone else, he even had the nerve to blame it on me as I was apparently no fun anymore. No I wasn’t want to know why? I was married to a workoholic and was never ever there for the children or me. I was shattered and felt put upon most of the time at the end of the marriage. Yet still don’t deserve the way he has treated me since. I asked him to leave. I have no clue how to face him, other than with disgust and thinking what is wrong with you? The police told me maybe in few years time we might get on? Are they mad, rather than have the respect to talk to me. He sticks me in police custody 3 times and the last time i was kept in there overnight. I am a 40 year old woman who has been through 2 years of hell thanks to him, and why would he be trying to attack me now, when I wasn’t the one who cheated and i wasn’t the one who destroyed our marriage he did.

    • This topic was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by Chellbrow.
    • This topic was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by Chellbrow.
    #36398 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    You sound terribly hurt and angry.  I think somehow you need to find some icy calm.

    whatever has happened, he clearly couldn’t care less so trying to communicate with him is pointless.  Trying to get through is a waste of your breath.

    I know it’s hard…I have an ex too, but the only way I found to deal with court appearances is to take an advocate or solicitor to speak for you. Somehow you need to let that happen and maintain a bit of silent dignity. Somehow you will manage it.   💐

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