Help! Single mum loneliness 🙈

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  • #19874 Report

    Cery1
    Participant

    Hey new to this. So single mum with almost teenager, not allowed a life it all revolves around them. Tried dating and told I’m not allowed a boyfriend but she has such a great life and now I feel lonely x just a taxi and slave 🙈

    #19875 Report

    I know I feel your pain, but you deserve to have happiness in your life also.

    It gets very lonely sitting alone night after night and teenagers lets face it are not much company so dont feel guilty to get back out their!

    The less your child knows about your private life the better in the beginning as it just causes unnecessary distress and tension until they fully accept all the changes going on in their lives.

    Eventually and trust me on this one, dating will be accepted by them and they will even given time, form new relationships with the people you connect with but only once your sure that the person you introduce to them is going to be worth meeting your child.

    Don’t ever feel guilty to have adult company we all need a little love in our lives and even after being very hurt in a relationship we always look for new love in the hope that we can be happy again.

    As for the taxi\slave part that happens to us all! it’s a perk to having a teenager it’s not solely directed at you to hurt you honest.

     

     

    #19893 Report

    Mozza2019
    Participant

    Hi Cery

    I am a single Dad to two boys, one of which is 12.  I have done everything I can for them to make our situation as normal as possible.  You can’t let your children rule that side of your life, it is your choice and as long as they are cared for and there are no wellfare issues you should continue with your life and date as you see fit.  I guess saying that, it depends on how long you have been apart from their Dad and what the situation was with the split.  I am 15 months down the line from my split and am now dating.  My kids are fine with it. P.

    #19896 Report

    Westernchampion
    Participant

    Hello Cery. If you are feeling lonely you can always come and chat here anytime. Feel free to email me.

    #19937 Report

    hollybobs
    Participant

    Cant really advise on what you could do right now but thought id share it from your teenagers perspective. When  i was 10 my mum became a single parent to 3 of us i was the youngest. my mum tried dating i was a teenager by this point, i kicked off, if she went on a date ill call  her with  a pretend emergency. I did not want her dating i did not want her to move someone in, i didnt want to meet anyone she had met, we argued for a long time, eventually she stopped dating because i made it too difficult for her to establish any kind of connection with anyone. The one thing my mum  didnt do was talk to me like an adult she never asked why didnt i want her date. Maybe ask that? maybe sit down and talk about it?

    But one thing you must do IS DATE meet people get your own life my mum is 60 now im 32 she has never dated since and she has no confidence too she says she doesnt need a man she has her own life and she does she has lots of friends has a busy social life but I NOW LIVE WITH THE GUILT THAT SHE HAS NEVER HAD A RELATIONSHIP. We all have our own lives and dont live near  her not a day goes by where i dont think about it.  For the sake of your child regardless of what they say now you must have your own life dont let them live with the guilt that i do because they are young, scared immature right now. I doubt my mum will ever be in a relationship again, never date, never get married its been too long shes lost her confidence in that department she wouldnt know what to do even though she is a very confident person. You dont have to get serious with anyone or even tell her your just going out with friends if its that she thinks she wont come first etc so she is reassured that nothing will change between you.

    #19947 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Holly bobs. That’s an interesting post. I have a 10yo and dating is very difficult because he really doesn’t want other people around. I love my son and do all I can to give him a decent home life, so I’ve put relationships for me on hold until he’s 17 or 18. I’d not thought about him feeling guilty. Thanks for the alternative view.

    #19954 Report

    Westernchampion
    Participant

    Great post hollybobs, good advice and a different perspective.

    #20007 Report

    tashbag
    Participant

    Hi hun i am a single parent of a teen to am so lonely and same here don’t want to date don’t have much of a life daughter takes up most of my time and doesn’t go to her dads much always so hard as no friend close by all moved away I just joined this as I was told about this from a stranger on Instagram which was nice of her got more help from her than any of the people around me . Hope you are ok always here to chat 😁

    #20013 Report

    When my ex left he initially saw the kids which was great to get a break to myself every second weekend but at the time they were 2 and 5 and it’s hard work, people who are in stable relationships don’t realise the strain your under.

    They have not seen him for seven years, they are now 12/15 yrs and although it gets easier as they are more independent I still don’t have much a life as the youngest not good being left and you wonder why, so I heavily rely on my parents but they are getting older and have a very active life themselves.

    I just wish I could of had more breaks in all those years but I have a bond with my kids that their father will never have he chose his new child and the woman he left me for before them so he will have to live with that for the rest of his life.

    Maybe you could ask your parents to look after your baby to give you a break since they so kindly take your ten year old.

     

     

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)

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