I am mom to a lively 18 month old boy. He sleeps through most nights, hardly crys and is so loving.
I totally respect all single parents and I know I only have one to look after and myself but I find it hard and lonely. It is me and my boy 24/7 mostly, we do have visitors but usually in clusters they all come the same week then nada for ages.
I have fantastic friends and family whom I love dearly but they just pop round now and then. I did end up staying the night at my parents this week because I was worn out but didn’t get that much rest really. Baby wouldn’t settle being in a different place.
I don’t have any offer of having my little one for a few hours or the day. I know not to expect it and the big free child care debate but a few hours or a days help with my boy would be like winning lottery for me right now.
Dad only sees him for a few hours at my flat on a Sunday evening then he is dictating you need to hoover or baby needs a bath, nails cutting, food etc.
I am really struggling at the moment, I haven’t been well for a few months now. Generally feeling drained, tired, not eating. I’ve been to GP who sent me for blood tests but I was that dehydrated and weak they couldn’t do it. (I’ve got to go back).
I just wanted some advice on coping and how others do it who don’t have much support.
For a start I’d hand your ex the towels & nail clippers and tell him to get bathing. He’s a parent, just the same as you.
If he moans about hoovering or the lack of, tell him to mind his own business. Honestly, what a prat.
Can you change a few things for spring. Eat more fruit & veg, reduce the junk food, try to get out in the sunshine as much as possible. Concentrate on you and don’t worry about the house work too much. Have you tried a basic multi vitamin to give you a bit of a boost.
Is there another mum you could share with, so each looks after two children for a couple of hours while the other has a break? Sometimes Two toddlers can play with each other and not need so much entertaining.
Kathy is right in that it’s none of his business what your flat looks like as long as it’s safe for your little one. I feel however that having him visit you there is probably not a good idea, not only because of his criticism but also it leaves you vulnerable, he is entering your private space which is good. With that in mind I’d think about meeting him elsewhere such as somewhere that offers soft play?
I will try to eat better and drink more water. My flat is safe, stuff is hidden away and cupboards tied up from little hands.
I tried meeting him at the soft play area but I don’t drive and being Sunday it’s difficult. I have tried baby groups but they weren’t much good. I don’t know any other mom’s either. I thought about setting up my own group and will look at it more when I feel better.