Help please

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    Recently separated out of the blue after years of me caring for him during illness. We have both been working for about 4 years.

    The problems are when he sees the children it’s never for more than about 3/4 hours. It’s never at his flat always at my house and he always insists that I am around.

    We have been doing relate, however, I am very sure he is now seeing someone else. He disappeared Christmas lunch time and although we have heard from him we haven’t seen him. He also wasn’t as his flat as I popped over twice on Boxing Day to drop off his stuff he left here… from that I emailed to say only contact through email and about the kids. I also placed boundaries saying he can see the kids at certain times. These are loosely what he was doing anyway I just extended them a bit. Of course he came back with opposition but we have an arrangement.

    One huge problem is he wants to come to my house to get them instead of me dropping them to him. The other is yesterday I got an email explaining what they are doing today and he has invited me along!!!!

    Confused! Not sleeping! Not eating! Just need some perspective.

    #64222 Report



    it seems things are reasonably amicable between both of you. if he is inviting you over, you can politely decline. if things are over between both of you, then maybe you can suggest he have the children over at his place. this is what most separated parents do. they have the kids on a regular schedule, for example every other weekend. if you don’t want him coming over at your place and hanging around, think you need to be firm with setting boundaries.

    #64226 Report


    Wow he’s upped his game. I placed a time of 5-8 tonight he wasn’t happy with 5 so I said 3. But apparently now 8 is also not good enough so he won’t see the children!!

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