Help please …

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  • #42448 Report

    DadCantThinkOfAName
    Participant

    Dear all

    I am divorced (left my wife for my partner) and I have two children, 5 and 3. My partner has a 7 year old. For the most part they play well but in summary my two are lovely and hers is introverted.

    My partner feels that my 5yo’s behaviour is awful and says she finds him annoying and that her daughter does as well. She says he had good qualities but that he is too full on.

    In the past she has said she thinks he has ADHD or is on the spectrum. She said last Dec that if his behaviour didn’t improve by June then we should split.

    This weekend she got most annoyed when on an obstacle course he raced the 7yo and missed out obstacles here and there to announce that he won. I wasn’t there but would’ve pointed it out. This upsets her 7yo and basically my partner then didn’t really talk to him afterwards. She finds it annoying when he then helps her with a game on a phone. He says oh I know how to do it and tells her how to play. She hadn’t played it before. He is 5 so obv keeps saying press this, press that. My partner was watching him like a hawk and said it ground her gears (to me later).

    i just need a reality check in terms of am I being super sensitive? Any help appreciated

    thanks

     

     

    #42455 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    5 year olds are still childish. In your eyes your children are perfect. She has told you your child has Adhd? What do you think? Is she a child psychologist??

    #42463 Report

    DadCantThinkOfAName
    Participant

    Thanks for replying!

    I don’t think he has and nor does his school. Neither is she a child psychologist.

    #42464 Report

    DadCantThinkOfAName
    Participant

    In short it’s coming down to do we stay together? She and I have very different parenting styles and we are both worried it will be worse in the LT.

    I get this feeling that the way she feels is going to be problematic (with my son principally) and that in turn will make her and I argue even more.

    She gets the most angry when he’s (the 5yo) on an obstacle course saying “look I can do it” to her 7yo and she feels that makes her daughter feel like crap. I understand if he was saying “why can’t you/you’re rubbish” etc but it’s not that way. She then demands space and silence for her daughter. They’re kids for gods sake.

    again maybe I’m too sensitive … I’m struggling to know what to do

    #42465 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    Parents are generally sympathetic when it comes to other peoples children. If she dhdnt find fault with yoour son it would be something else. This concern arround cheating sounds quite pathetic really. Doesnt it?? With covid going on everyone’s lives have changed. I honestly don’t know what to say but you need to. Put your kids first because that is exactly what she is doing!

    #42487 Report

    MammaBearTo2
    Participant

    He sounds like a normal 5 year old to me. She sounds a bit petty … who ignores a kid over something like that?! If it was me I’d have left, she’s saying his behaviour will only get worse but I think it’s hers that will over time.

    #42505 Report

    DadCantThinkOfAName
    Participant

    appreciate the comments, thank you.

     

    #42610 Report

    ChickpeaV
    Participant

    I don’t think you’re being too sensitive but maybe she’s being insensitive towards a 5 year old whose mind is still developing and young, let along he has been through parents’ divorce. Your son is just as important as her daughter, if she can’t see it equally then that question is for you to answer. Best.

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