Help needed

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  • #54515 Report

    Nicki44
    Participant

    I’m still really struggling after splitting up with my long term partner at the beginning of the year.He was having an affair,I really tried to make it work but he said he wanted it to but he wasn’t trying so I told him to go as it was affecting my mental health and our children were picking up on the tension.I can’t stop thinking of him with her,he is about to introduce her to his parents.I hate him but I love him I’m just so confused.Things have got really nasty between us because of his lies,he just walked away and left me to deal with our children’s broken hearts asking with dealing with my own,run a house live on child benefit because he took all the money away that we used to share(as I’m a stay at hime mom)he still paid the bills but now says he can’t do it anymore…But some days I just want to beg and plead for him to come back but I have to keep stopping myself.

    #54529 Report

    Joanna79
    Participant

     

    Have you looked at child support from him,going via the CSA.

    No wonder you’re struggling so much. You’ve been completely abandoned. Many of us have gone through this feeling and it’s horrendous. It does get easier I assure you. It’s just a long process of ups and downs.

    It’s so weird how we can have these feelings of fondness and love despite them behaving in the most careless, appalling way. I’ve done it too lovely, it’s normal in the beginning. I just want to remind you that all that love needs to go into yourself.  He has dumped you in it so just think about your own pain and hurt and how to get what you need for yourself, not him. Some financial support would be a really good start. I’d be on the case ref CSA soon as you can. He can find the time and resources to swan off with his new lady so he can find that financially for his responsibilities.

    You will get through this, you will be strong again and he will be living his own version of domestic drudgery and wishing life was better with his new girlfriend in good time I’m sure. Distraction is one of the best tonics when you get obsessive thinking about his new life and what he is doing with the other lady.

    Somewhere much further down the line you will look at them both and pity her if she’s still lumbered with him x

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