Help! My ex’s new partner

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  • #39685 Report



    I’m new to this forum, but I’m hoping that being able to vent to people who understand what it’s like being a single parent will help. So here goes.. My ex and I have a 5 year old daughter who has behavioural problems and struggles to adapt to change, since we split 4 years ago we agreed that if either of us met someone new we would speak to the other parent before introducing our daughter to them. My ex has had multiple dalliances since then and as far as I am aware he has stuck to our agreement. He has a new girlfriend who he has been with a few months, however he has denied she is his girlfriend until recently. He only admitted it because my daughter Told me he had left her with the girlfriend whilst he went out to football! I’m absolutely livid about the situation and have expressed that I don’t want my daughter seeing the girlfriend again, firstly because he lied to me and my daughter about her and secondly because she is now trying to control my ex and encouraging him to bring my daughter to her home when she knows I’m not happy about it and is slagging me off to his family. Has anyone had experience with this? I feel so out of my depth and unsure of myself. I know my daughter will eventually have to meet this person but it just feels like She and I have both been put in this position with no preparation. I would liked to have meet the girlfriend before and seen how my daughter reacted but now I have absolutely no desire to be anywhere near her and feel really quite angry about the whole thing. Sorry for the long post, but any help or advice would be appreciated! Natasha

    #39693 Report


    Hi, I know it is difficult but your ex is entitled to introduce his child to whoever he wishes.

    He has held off introducing your daughter to his friends but now seems to have found a partner who is more long term.  When your daughter is with her dad, he can decide who he leaves her with, as long as there is no known safeguarding risk. Regardless of what might be ideal, you do not have the right to meet the new girlfriend or to set criteria.

    On this one, the law says your ex has the right, on his time, to decide who and when.  I know it’s hard but you have at least a decade of co-parenting to go so better to try to be amicable and calm.

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