Help me please

[CharperParticipant]

2 months ago my partner left me she asked me to make a choice of her and the kid or the weed I stupidly said the weed as I thought it made me a better through the whole 2 months I’ve been begging and pleading for her to come back I’ve came off the weed and since we split I’ve been looking after myself better, I was in our house but I had to leave it was killing me, I asked her again today is she still loved me and if we could start things fresh she said she doesn’t love me and doesn’t want to go back with me her family have told me the same thing and they’ve not changed their tune for those 2 months I just want my family back we have a 1 year old together and she’s pregnant with our second child I can’t get over her I miss her so much and I still love her I regret everything I’m so lost and hurt I don’t know what to do

[KathymumofoneParticipant]

I think All you can do at this stage is be a good and supportive parent.

As a single mum she needs to know that cm is paid on time so she can  afford to provide properly for the children. As a new mum, she may want to discuss the new baby – without being pressured over a relationship.  As a mum of two she might want the occasional day off and be able to trust you to look after the children safely.

I’ve no idea how your ex feels but I guess you need to build back the basic trust necessary to co-parent before anything else.

[SOLOMUMMYParticipant]

Actions speak louder than words!

She needs to see that you’re not longer on the weed.

She needs to see you being a good father.

She needs to see you’re reliable,  responsible,  paying and contributing towards your child.

She needs to see you as someone she can coparent with.

Two months is nothing to show this!

And that’s just for her to see you as a decent father.  She may never see you as a viable prospect partner wise, but you’d need to be doing this above to even stand a chance!

Worst case you become a great dad but don’t win her over.  But you’d he still won and more importantly so would your child!

[CharperParticipant]

Thank you it’s hard I’m struggling to cope with it and I’ve got an addictions appointment tomorrow also I booked a family mediation for Tuesday and she doesn’t trust me with the child as my emotions have had the better off me not actions but words have been said that I was wanting to end my life because of it, I know now how stupid it was but she won’t trust me alone with our child I would never harm her, I think I’m on the right track at the moment with my appointments and going to the gym but I miss my family so much it’s hard to keep calm when all I want is everything fixed and back to normal, thank you for your advice I’ll try my absolute best to keep calm

[GAM19187Participant]

Stay strong and show them you will be there for them. Only time will tell if you win her back but as of now think about the wonderful children you have.

Go for it, you can do this.

G.

[Author]

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