19 November 2021 at 6:33 pm #62942
Husband announced a week ago he wanted a divorce and admitted to seeing another woman(not physical) He wants to move in with her in the new year and wants to introduce to my son. He seems to have visions of being a blended family while only seeing our child fortnightly at the weekend. Meanwhile ‘i’m reeling. Where do i start. Been with him 15 years. No idea how to be a single parent.19 November 2021 at 8:22 pm #62944
Hey, that sounds really tough for you. From the outside lookimg in it seems very quick…Depending on the age/feelings of your son he may not feel ready to meet the new partner or visit there independently at first.
Can you ask for more time?
It is a big shock after a long time together and everyone will need time to adjust and process what’s happening.
If poss can you put off any long term agreements until you’ve had a chance to work out what your son needs. If he’s close to his father and young a weekend a fortnight may not be enough, equally you may need more regular practical support with school runs etc. Esp if you work. Could you make any agreements on a trial basis and see how it goes?
In terms of being a single parent, it was not something I wanted for myself or my child, but it is possible to make it work. We still have fun together, I still hold down a job, the house is sometimes a tip but it’s not insurmountable. Supportive friends make a big difference, I have learnt to accept help when it’s freely offered- being a single parent doesn’t mean you’re on your own. Good friends and family will step up and you will get through it. Hang in there, there will be better times.21 November 2021 at 4:22 pm #62994
Gosh that sounds like a shock.
As Ineedaliein says take things one step at a time…try not to rush into things. Even contact arrangements made now can be changed.
But best I think to make the point it may be too early to meet new partner!
At the same time as difficult as it is you do need to get all your ducks in a row with regard to practical and financial arrangements.
So I would square child maintenance straight away as if he is living elsewhere you need to be clear what he will contribute to your now single parent household.
Also you will need to redo your budget for your own household.
Who owns the house/is it rented? if so who is on rental contract?
These issues need to be squared and you need to get the information and not just be pushed along with all of it.
Solicitor needs seeing for you, half an hour free advice and/or Citizens Advice both of which can be done nowadays on telephone or online.
A job for Monday Morning!
Good luck it is very hard to do this rational jobs whilst you are emotionally reeling but believe you me, you will feel more in charge if and when you do them!
Do you want a divorce? If is very hard with infidelity so thinking of you.21 November 2021 at 6:20 pm #62997
Wow that is shocking,how can you come back from that , I would tell him to move on , and I promise you he won’t be happy and he will look back and realise he’s made a big mistake, and you need to show him what’s he has lost x hang in there your are the better person and I promise you one day you will believe me x