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  • #61013 Report




    I have just found out I am pregnant, I have been with partner for almost 3 years and he has now decided he wants nothing to do with this. It was very unplanned not something either of us wanted just yet however I feel at 32 I can do this, but now with him leaving I face being a single mother and going through all this on my own.

    I live in London on my own in a shared house, I have a good steady job but my company only offer statutory maternity and I’m not on a huge wage. I really have to think how am I going to do this on my own how am I going to afford this. I can’t stay where I am living as my housemates won’t want to live with a  baby so I’m going to need to try to get my own flat which will cost so much more than I am paying now. All the baby stuff I’d need and then how am I supposed to afford nursery once my maternity is over. None of my family live in London so I have no help there.

    I still have time to make a decision I seriously do not want to make but I have to think of my future child. I was bought up very very poor and I felt the weight of my family finances since I was a young girl, I knew we had no money and I saw my parents struggle everyday. I love them dearly and they are amazing parents but I do not want the experience I had for my child.

    I suppose I just wondered if anyone has gone through similar, am I seriously overthinking or is this normal financial panic?

    Thank You x

    #61016 Report



    I’m one of the moderators here. Thanks for posting your question – there’s a lot to think about when deciding to become a parent and I’m sure you’ll find lots of useful tips and get support from single parents on this forum.

    As a single parent you may be entitled to financial help, including help with childcare and housing costs, even if you are working. If you contact our Gingerbread helpline on 0808 802 0925 one of our specialist advisers will be happy to do a full benefit calculation for you to see what financial help you could get and the options available to you. Details of the helpline opening hours are here:

    Best wishes,





    #61025 Report


    It is hard being a single parent. But the joy your child will bring will hopefully be so amazing, it will give you the courage to be an even better version of yourself.


    Or if you don’t feel courageous enough and need to make tough decisions, promise yourself you will not feel bad about it later, as any decision you make will be well thought out.


    All the best,

    A single mum

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