Hello, New to this forum
24 October 2018 at 8:18 pm #17186
Hello, my first post here. I’m mum to a ten year old daughter, and want to reach out to others for sharing and support.
I wonder if other single parents have experience of the difficult dynamic there can be when there’s only one adult and one child. I’m finding my daughter’s need for company, connection and attention very intense and I really struggle to meet it. Of course play dates help but I feel like I can’t keep asking friends as they have busy lives. The day can seem so very long and empty when it’s just two rattling around together and I think we’re picking up on each other’s loneliness
Just wondering really how others experience this and just wanting to connect from a place of feeling a bit lonely!25 October 2018 at 6:43 am #17188
Hello and welcome!
I’m in the same position, day to day it’s just me and my daughter who’s 7. How long has it been just you guys?
It’s been the 2 of us for 2 and a bit years now and truth be told she’s still adjusting but there are other factors in play there. Time will help once you get your own routines established, although at the same time it bites you in the a**! Doing the pesky housework together I found helped as they’re still getting the contact they need but also being productive tho find a light topic to chat about whilst you do it, helps with the monotony of doing the dishes lol. And vice Vets’s when you’re doing something she wants, it’s allabout trade offs in this house some days 🙄😂
As long as you’re open about things, but without going into the nitty gritty of it as she’s still a kid, that constant need to be with you will relax as you both get comfortable with your new life. Just take it slow.
Feel free to message anytime, that lonely feeling is one of the worst things ever and I don’t wish it on anyone.
I hope today is good 😊 x25 October 2018 at 7:53 pm #17198
i’m in a very similar situation aswell. It’s just me and my 8 year old daughter and its’s been the two of us for a year now. She does see her dad and has nights with him but it’s a bit random when he sees her (his choice and his loss) so it’s just the two of us a lot. She has friends over a lot and that does help.
And yes, we are very close and I love her company, but it can be a bit intense. It doesn’t help that her dad lives with his new partner and her 5 kids and when she’s there, my daughter gets very little individual attention from her dad so I think I maybe over compensate. As a result, we’re going through a bit of a clingy phase at the mo of her not liking being away from me. She some times has to be peeled off me at school and when she went to my mum’s yesterday while I was at work, she ran down the road after me sobbing and my mum had to come running after her. I’m told that she is happy at school and 5 minutes after i’d left my mum’s, she was apparently happy playing. She is not the confident, happy child that she was before her dad left and i’m struggling to know how to help her. So any advice would be great.27 October 2018 at 12:42 am #17252
My son is 10 and things are more relaxed, definitely getting better. There are things we do together & both enjoy – cycling together on the common is good and eating out, if only pizza express.
At the weekends I ensure he does something with other kids, so on Saturday he has a swimming lesson with other boys, on Sunday a karate class. In the holidays there is a holiday club where he has his little “tribe” I try to stick to that routine
We play a lot of games and he reads a lot by himself. It’s been a few years now, but he’s much more relaxed, he’s more confident and getting more self reliant.