Hello. Future plans and part introduction 🙂
23 February 2019 at 9:28 pm #21378
My name is P and I’m turning 20 this year. I’m Nonbinary (transgender) and I’m wanting/hoping to become a parent in approximately the next 2-5 years. I will be going down a sperm donor route as I want to raise my future child alone. My main thing is that I believed for a while I didn’t want kids, due to dealing with my own dysphoria and other stuff surrounding that, however in the last 6 months to a year I’ve slowly come to realise that that was fear. Fear over my own body and fear of being trans and a parent. Also, I’m wanting to carry this baby. I couldn’t possibly imagine a surrogate carrying unless I wasn’t able for some reason. My body is something I’ve felt much negatively over but I’ve come to learn and understand that my body isn’t inherently a “womens” but rather its my body. Taking ownership and accepting that is rather powerful. I know that being Nonbinary is often judged and not believed … so if I get pregnant my chances of being taken serious reduce but honestly I’m not bothered. I mean I care obviously but my future baby is the priority, I’d be doing it for them just as much as anything else. I hope I’m welcome here I just feel a little alone in this due to my trans status. I know its odd for a trans person who has dysphoria to want to go though a pregnancy but my body will be doing something incredible, I know that doesn’t invalidate me. I’m moving out soon, will own a house…get a job. Organise my life. I also need a surgery, top surgery before anything else. I truly hope that in 3 years or so I can be sitting in a clinc making this a reality. It’s terrifying but also so beautiful and exciting. Currently, I would plan to have a C section but obviously I’d look into natural birth and get support just in case it happened that way. I’m a little nervous to post this as I don’t know if it makes any sense aha. I’ve thought about this so much my head has being spinning but bringing my own baby into this world to love and watch grow is something I am excited to do. Seeing as I can’t seem to find any sort of organisation to talk to I thought here would work, I’m going to be talking to a friend who has a child about it all soon too. Thanks so much….any advice or anything welcome. I do feel overwhelmed with all this as anyone would but just with a few added layers I guess.
Thanks again 😊24 February 2019 at 6:53 am #21389
Hi, having all those plans feels so good and optimistic. It sounds like you are finding your feet and I hope it all goes to plan.
The only thing I would say is that babies & children often don’t do plans. Regardless of you being gay, straight, trans, single, whatever, they show up when you hadn’t planned them or don’t show up when you had.
Just keep adapting & good luck, hope it all works24 February 2019 at 11:05 am #21401
Thank you for your response. 🙂 Thats very true, I’m 100% an overthinker aha.26 February 2019 at 8:20 pm #21563
Just wanted to say hi and good luck. You seem to have been through a lot already! I think having plans is always a good start but like Katymumofone says plans often end up changing around children lol so try not to be so focused on overthinking everything! Being a single parent is extremely difficult particularly if you do not have a lot of support from friends or family. You can become very isolated and lonely, and in your case very much so as you already write nonbinary is often judged and not believed!! So just make sure you have some really good support networks in place 😁
That said you appear very positive in your future and I wish you well. It’s not easy being a minority (trust me!!) Don’t let anyone judge who you are, everyone is unique and an individual and should be treated with respect!! There are always going to be people that are small minded but don’t let them be the ones to dictate how you feel or what you achieve!!