Hello from South Wales

[Deblowen]

Hi there,

I’m a single Mum with 2 children at home, 17 & 12. I’m finding it a real shock to be single after so many years of marriage. Anyone else in the South Wales area in a similar situation?

[Mummalou82]

Yes! I am 34 and have 4 children (only 3 of which live with me due to the actions of the husband/stepfather.) 😞 my children are 13, 5, 3 and very nealy 2.

The bottom fell out of my world unofficially  on november 20th nov 2016 (a date that will be etched in my mind forever) via a text message after being married for just shy of 10 years. (together for 11) but i was kept hanging on to a very thin shred of hope so full advantage could be taken of all the child t/credits/benefits. Until i could take no more and demanded an answer which i unfortunately received in march 2016 when it all became official. Anyway so 1 year on  still existing in the one bedroom with the children in my parents (since losing our apparent “forever home” Still extremely shy, broken and dealing with anxiety after having only tiny people for company for what seems like forever (amongst many other sad reasons) I fear that if i continue to wallow in this without reaching out in some way then “he” and “it”  has won and my little girls deserve  to have a life with dimension to it even if i find it so hard.

I hope you are coping well. You are not alone.

Take care.

Still in a way in shock/disbelief and a great deal of denial but plodding on…

Sarah-Lou (near Caerphilly)

[Deblowen]

Hi Sarah-Lou,

I really feel the pain of the situation you are in. I’m living in my parents too and feel like I have lost everything. I was married for 23 years and am still in shock and denial too.

I am determined to not let this ruin my life though and agree that we deserve more than this!

I am definitely reaching out to get as much support as I can. We can get through this 🙂

[Mummalou82]

Hello again, I don’t think that any one person can begin to understand the true extent of the devastation that “abandonment” for those left trying to pick up the pieces and just desperately trying to keep going for the sake of the child. Never mind the pain!

I myself am extremely new to this opening up and reaching out thing  and one minute i get that fire in my belly to “Show Him What For” but sometimes (even minutes after the fact) reality, feelings and fear kick  back in and i begin to lose the hope and the fight.

But i guess you could say that we have taken the first step (as cliche as that may sound) Now all we have to do is come out on top and prove to them that it is completely their loss!!!

Must go. (school run. AGAIN!) 🙂

Will hopefully speak a lot more soon.

(when ever it all gets too much- i will be hurting like/with you too)

 

Take care for now x

[Deblowen]

Hey Sarah-Lou,

hope you’ve had a good day.

Definately with you on showing them it’s completely their loss.

i have to stop thinking about/ worrying about what my ex is doing and move on.

Anytime you need to chat i’m here.

Take care

xx

[Anonymous]

Hi Deblowen I’m a mother of 3 great children. I’m from Cardiff but now live in Kent.

i divorced after a long marriage and I know it’s difficult.

Hope you are well. Take care

[Deblowen]

Hey Jamiebear,

i must admit i’m Struggling! I think it’s worse as it’s coming up to Christmas.

I feel totally abandoned by my husband. He lives in Australia so I have full responsibility for the kids. I’m not complaining about that but it would be nice if he asked how they were.

Anyway i’m Sure things will get better!

Good to hear from you 🙂

[Anonymous]

Hi there I know how you feel. My ex doesn’t ask about my 2 oldest children. It’s hard but I’m looking forward to a great 2018.

I wish you a better year too!

[Natasha NGM]

Hi ladies, do you mind if i join in? I have  been a single mum now for almost 3 years. I promised myself and my daughter that this year I will move forward with my life.

I feel the last couple of years i have been busy rebuilding a new life but I am now ready to move forward, I just don’t know where to start.

 

[Deblowen]

Hi Natasha.

Its hard isn’t it? I’ve been very busy rebuilding my life too. Sounds like you’ve been doing a great job.

When you say you want to move forward. In what way?

Deb

[Natasha NGM]

Hi Deb, as you know yourself you go through different kinds of emotions all the time. 1 minute I’m so happy with my life and glad things happened but then I have moments  where I can’t even bring myself to communicate with my daughters dad and he angers me when I think about how much I gave up for him only to be made to feel worthless.

For me to move forward I’ve just decided it’s time to put my barriers down a little bit and get on with life 😂

How are you dealing with things

[Ablfc]

Hi ladies, I’m a 33 year old dad of a 7 and 4 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. And my world came crashing down in December. I wont go in to all the details but after trying to still live with my ex for 6-7 month after we spilt, it reached the point where I just couldn’t do it anymore and said it was no longer working, she and her boyfriend are now getting a place together to move in to. She says she wants equal access to the kids but at the moment she sees them a couple of mornings a week before school and every other weekend, so I’m having the one night off a fortnight. I don’t drive and was wondering if you could give me some ideas of things to do in Cardiff for little money during the hols. We would normally go away, spend time with members of her family etc and that’s not available now. Also any advice I could get on helping my 7year old girl out with her emotions would be appreciated. The younger 2 are  unfazed, but my 7year old gets upset when mum “forgets to call” and yesterday was telling me I should split mummy and her boyfriend up. I hate the fact that my daughter is in pain but I tried My best for them.

[Mikey76]

Hiya I am a single full time dad from Pontypridd to 5 well say that the oldest now lives with her boyfriend and my 2nd oldest is about to move back with his mum after 14 years,  so will only have 3 left I was married to the youngest 3s mother for 12 years she left the day before what would have been our 13th anniversary for a guy she had been having a affair with and is now living in Milton Keynes so has not seen them since march, coming up 7 months. I am sick of feeling so useless and lonely silly as it sounds as my home is always full.

[Author]

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