28 December 2019 at 4:15 pm #34547
I have just signed up to this forum and wanted to say hello to you all. This is a big step for me to take as I have been very isolated for the past four to five years or so while my ex cheated on me with anyone who was up for it and then eventually walked out and left me with the kids (didn’t even say goodbye to them). I hope 2020 can be a new start for me. I finally think I feel brave enough to face people again. Has anyone felt like this?28 December 2019 at 4:49 pm #34552
Thank you, JJ. Can’t tell you how much your reply meant to me28 December 2019 at 5:10 pm #34557
your not alone even if it does feel like it. I’ve been seperated from my husband for 6 months now and have my up and down days it’s a right rollercoaster (which I want to get off now)I didn’t realise how isolated I’d feel. I’ve been doing it on my own for a while now he checked out of the marriage a couple of years ago but when he let it was so scary being on my own with the kids. if you ever want to chat feel free to message me on here x28 December 2019 at 8:29 pm #34559
I am really sorry for what you have been through, but that is exactly how I feel – as though I am on a rollercoaster. Like you, I was carrying on on my own before the split as I was trying to block out the very obvious cheating (for the kids). But all the same, I have felt so vulnerable since he left. There are good times, when I think I can carry on alone but then I’ve also found myself in situations I never thought I would, and I had no one to turn to. I have zero self-confidence now. I know I need to get myself out of the house when I can, but it is going to be hard.
I’ve looked at Gingerbread previously but have never felt brave enough to join. But tonight I felt I needed to make some new steps and I am so thankful you have replied x28 December 2019 at 8:30 pm #34560
Redecorating is one of my resolutions for next year! I will check out your other thread x28 December 2019 at 8:31 pm #34561
This is the most I have felt connected with other people for a long while, thank you x28 December 2019 at 10:03 pm #34567
Hi Blue cloud, I’m new on here too, I’ve only been on my own for two days but I’m already so lonely. My husband left us on boxing day, he had been having an affair for a while but I had no idea. I have no idea how to get through any of this. How old are your kids? Mine are 8 and 3. If you ever need to talk I’m here.28 December 2019 at 10:43 pm #34569
I’m a single mum to 11yo son. I’ve been doing this for a while.
Feeling isolated, and having good days and bad days in “normal” I think. Just take it slowly and be kind to yourself, you need just as much TLC as your children.
Here’s to a happier 2020 x28 December 2019 at 11:06 pm #34571
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I would never have been brave enough to connect with others on this website after two days. But two days or two years, the loneliness seems endless to me at times. I’ve noticed that it normally gets to me at a time when families are meant to be together – like now. Then the silence just seems so much more overwhelming to me. Once I had to rush out of the house for a few minutes so that my kids didn’t see.
I have two kids, now 16 and 14. My elder one had hacked dad’s phone and read all about his affairs and kept quiet about it. Now self-harming. I think I have only got this far because of the kids – the need to keep going for them. I haven’t really given much thought to myself so far, if I’m honest.
It must have been such a shock for you. I can’t offer good advice myself, but I am here if I can ever be of help28 December 2019 at 11:09 pm #34572
Thanks so much. This evening has put things back in to perspective for me. There are others out there with similar (worse) experiences and emotions. It’s helping me already.
Roll on 202 xx29 December 2019 at 11:24 am #34577
I’m dad to 3 kids aged 15,11 & 9 and this has been my first Christmas without them, I do have regular time with the kids but have totally struggled with everything. Myself and my wife split last January and I left the house in April. Thought I had a handle on everything, finding somewhere to live, money, access but especially now have found that I’m really just going through the motions! I spend most of my time on my own at my flat and have got myself into a bit of a rut with it. I work part time due to a disability and I’ve been surprised at how little help there is for people in similar situations. I’m now faced with the prospect of being homeless as my local housing don’t recognise me as having children because they don’t live with me! Although I have them every other weekend, I’m in a private rented property that is really too expensive for me but now can’t find anything else that would be suitable for me and the kids!! I’ve tried everything possible by practically living at the local housing and council offices but with little success, debts are starting to pile up and I’m just at a loss! Is there any advice or a pointer in the right direction that anyone could offer? Thank you in advance
steve29 December 2019 at 12:29 pm #34583
Hi again Blue cloud, I’m not clear whether it’s you or your son self harming? Either way are you getting any help and support? You say about being isolated, do you have friends? Family? I’m only 3 days in but I can already see how lonely this life may be. You’re very brave.29 December 2019 at 12:32 pm #34584
SteveJohn72. Have you tried contacting fathers for justice? I know you’re not having access problems but I imagine they have loads of experience and advice with housing and finances etc. Sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time.29 December 2019 at 2:37 pm #34592
Hi SteveJon72, really sorry to read of your situation. This forum has opened my eyes to the struggles others are facing. What about the CAB? I hope you get some good advice on what to do next x29 December 2019 at 2:46 pm #34593
Hi BigA Little,
Thanks for the post. My child started self harming soon after dad walked out. Counselling hasn’t helped. Do I feel guilty? Yes. Do I blame myself? Absolutely. When my kids are at school, I check the bedrooms. I clear out all the blood stained items. So I need to pull myself together so my kids can heal.