HEARTBROKEN. Will this ever end?

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  • #8922 Report

    New_user
    Participant

    So I’m a 30 something with a 6 year old and baby. My partner (their father) has decided that he needs his own space and wants to separate. He’s not the kind of person who you can reason with.

     

    The mortgage is in his name and he’s asked me to leave (with the children obviously as I’m their main carer). I’ve looked at places to rent but want the right place for my kids however he’s trying to rush me out.

     

    Im absolutely heartbroken. I love him so much and do literally everything for him.

     

    I seriously don’t see my future without him and I’m really struggling to hold

    things together.

     

    Please tell me it gets easier x

    #8940 Report

    Empty
    Participant

    Try phoning Family Lives (free) on 0808 800 2222 http://familylives.org.uk.

    They should be able to give you some pointers. Also, CAB of course.

    #9051 Report

    Butterfly13
    Participant

    Hi New_user

    I can honestly say it does get easier you just need to give it time which I know is easier said than done and probably fed up people telling you that.

    I had been with my now ex husband since I was 17 and he left me after 13 years. He was my absolute world and I would have done anything for him. 20 months after him leaving me I found out he had been having an affair but until then I had no answers from him as to why.

    This was just over 3 years ago and I can honestly say I am so glad I am out of that relationship as looking back I can’t believe what I put up with and missed out on. I am so much happier without him just didn’t realise it at the time  and now only struggle with the fact my family is now broken, I’m divorced and a single parent something I never wanted to happen.

    Please don’t think you don’t have a future with out him as you do have a future without him it’s with your children. Go out there and find the perfect house and make it your new home, go out with your friends when child free, become the strong independent person you can be.

    When you are feeling lonely come on here to chat, call a friend, relative (I must speak to my mum 3 times a day still but it helps). Reading really helps me too. Try and meet new people, do something you have never done before.

    Honestly you can do this you just need believe in yourself x

     

    #9053 Report

    Nastbury
    Participant

    To Butterfly13: that is the sweetest, most thoughtful, and well written message that I have read for quite some time. It is what Gingerbread is all about: moral support from like minded people to those whose life has taken a bad turn.

    Gingerbread’s online community has been a fantastic source of reassurance, support and advice for me in the the four months since I discovered my wife had been cheating on me, and broken our family. So thank you.

    New_user, be strong and in time things will get better.  Look after you, so you can look after your children.

    #9081 Report

    christinaw28
    Participant

    I left my husband because of abuse. That was five weeks ago and even though its all still raw, starting to realise how much I was being held back from being who I wanted to be and now im on my own with my 4 year old and 7 month old. Our life is getting to be the best its ever been.

    #9098 Report

    Billie38
    Participant

    Oh hunni it will definitely get better that I can say. It’s all raw & very emotional at the min but with some time & space u will c it as all your efforts & time will b with your kids. Intime u will a happy mummy (I swear). U will need a good strong support from any family & friends and also on here it doesn’t help.

    I split with H after 16yrs & took my 2 boys aged 13 & 10. My family have been a huge support without them I can say if I hadn’t left I honestly wouldn’t b here. But after 4mths new job and getting my boys back into a normal routine and hopefully by summer I’ll b in my own house. I can’t wait honestly.

    so things might seem & feel crap but it will get better xxx

    #9332 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    I.am.truly sorry to hear your ex has asked you and the children to leave their home. .what a nasty man!

    My ex husband let me stay and I was able to buy home off him but it wasn’t easy

    You do not leaveyour home with your children as you will regret it..you need to go find a sympathetic family lawyer and get some free advice.  You do not let him bully you and as a single mother I beg you not to leave your home as you have not done anything wrong and your kids need a roof over their head..good luck x

     

    #9333 Report

    bobthebuilderkef
    Participant

    butterfly13 says it all perfectly, i found my wife of 15 years had been living a double life and cheating on me, i absolutely adored her and would have done anything for her….but she obviously wasn’t the person i thought she was, 2 years down the line and i’m just about starting to live my life again, trusting again will probably be the hardest part…..but it does get better eventually, only time heals, …..good luck

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